


Colliding Stars

by Khaelis



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Domestic Violence, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-09-26 21:07:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9922142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khaelis/pseuds/Khaelis
Summary: Rose Tyler works in a shabby bar to pay the rent, lives with an abusive boyfriend and wonders what she has done to deserve such a miserable life.While she does everything she can to get back on her feet, life keeps dragging her down.What happens when the weird bloke in a suit holds out a hand and takes her on the road to recovery?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> This story is another John Smith AU, but I wanted to write a multi-chapter work and this idea popped in my head.  
> It's going to have extremely dark and angsty moments, but it will also feature many fluffy scenes (because I still want my OTP to be happy).
> 
> Please mind the tags and the warnings!
> 
> I hope you'll like it, thanks to all the readers out there, and please let me know what you think!

 

* * *

 

 

Rose took a deep breath, tied her blond hair into a tight ponytail, brushed her black skirt with her knuckles and closed her eyes a moment to savor her very last minute of respite before she would have to step into the lion’s den. This was her very own ritual. A ritual that reminded her how her life had taken a miserable turn and was sending her straight to the edge of a cliff she was bound to fall from, sooner or later.

The moment she stepped out of her dressing room, which mustn’t have been larger than a cupboard, silence turned to music, shouts, laughs, hollering. A cacophony of sounds she was used to but still found hard to bear, especially when the night came to a close. A tall and muscular man in his forties strode towards her and she bent her head on the side when he put a hand on her shoulder and wiggled his index to get her attention.

 

“Come on, Tyler,” he boss shouted in her ear to cover the din of the bar. “Stag party tonight, you’re on it.”

 

She nodded in agreement but inside she already felt depressed. A stag party meant a large table, liters of drinks to serve and usually dealing with severely drunk men who wouldn’t miss the chance to hit on any living thing that had breasts, category in which she unfortunately fell. Quite predictably, a young man that already looked he had had one too many raised his hand.

Rose steeled herself and gathered every single ounce of courage she could muster. She would need it. She put on her best smile and maneuvered between the chairs and tables to reach the soon-to-be married man.

 

“What can I get you?” she asked.

“That’ll be a round of shooters, sweetheart,” he slurred with a wink.

 

The whole table booed – and Rose only added to her pain when she noticed there were thirteen of them. The man shrugged with a laugh at the reaction of his friends, whom were definitely not here to drink a single shooter, and corrected his order.

 

“Make that two bottles of Bacardi and a round of pints.”

 

That was received with an explosion of cheering and clapping and the poor bloke, in his state of advanced inebriety, almost fell from his chair when one of his friends bumped his shoulder a bit too hard. He burst out laughing and Rose lifted her eyes to the ceiling with a discreet sigh of annoyance before she got to the bar.

 

“Louisa, I need two bottles of Bacardi and thirteen pints of the lightest stuff you’ve got,” she told the barmaid who was already filling glasses with a crimson cocktail. “Those blokes will be hammered before they finish the first bottle and I don’t want to pick up broken glasses.”

“On it, Rose,” she answered with a conniving glance and a grin.

 

Rose thanked her with a polite nod and leaned against the bar as she waited for her drinks to be prepared. From the corner of her eye, she noticed a man who seemed to be on his own, sitting on a stool next to her with nothing in his hands but a small notepad. He was quickly tapping his long fingers against his thigh and his right leg shook nervously as he muttered unrecognizable words under his breath.

 

“Is there something I can do for you?” she asked politely.

 

His head shot up to meet her eyes and he removed the square glasses that had been sitting on the top of his nose.

 

“Hum, could I have a glass of whiskey, please? Straight.”

“Sure thing,” she gave him a smile and he went back to the many pages of scribbling on his notepad.

 

Rose slipped behind the bar and watched with a heavy breath of exasperation the mountain of glasses slowly stockpiling on three trays. She shook her head and picked a whiskey glass on a shelf, then reached for a bottle of Jack Daniel’s – crap whiskey, if she was honest with herself, but given the decrepit nature of this bar she didn’t find it all surprising that it was the only one available. It was more the kind of establishment where the drunkards of the neighborhood gathered every day and lost people ended up for lack of anything better. No need for an 18 year-old whiskey that wouldn’t make much more of a difference.

She poured the strong amber liquid in the glass, handed it across the counter and bent a little towards him to make sure he would hear her.

 

“It’s on the house,” she said loudly over the rock song blaring in the bar.

 

He thanked her with a shy nod and Rose shrugged when he left his glass untouched and sifted through the pages on his notepad. Weird bloke, but then again that wouldn’t be the first one to have crossed this bar’s doorstep.

 

“Rose, order’s ready!” Louisa warned her as she pointed her thumb toward the three full trays of bottles and drinks.

 

Rose looked at the trays with desperation in her eyes, but she knew he boss was watching her from afar and that she needed to make this quick. Louisa helped her balance two trays on each of her hands and Rose thanked the heavens that her arms were strong enough to carry that much weight. Despite her burden, she navigated easily among the crowd and if it weren’t from the trays on her hands one might have thought she was dancing.

 

“Where are the other drinks, darling?” one of the man groaned as he tentatively reached to palm her bum.

 

Rose huffed and grabbed his hand before he could touch her. She was used to such behaviors and she had taken the useful habit of watching their hands more than their faces which had saved her from being groped more than once.

 

“I don’t have four arms, they’re coming,” she answered dryly.

 

One more round trip and she was done serving that table – for now. She took a look around to see if anyone wanted to order something but apart from the ambient hubbub and a few people dancing to the rhythmic Presley’s song, everything seemed calm. Even the stag party group remained moderate, despite their loud fits of laughter and bickering, which was a relief.

Rose went back to the counter and noticed the weird bloke from earlier acting a little… Well, weird. His face contorted every few seconds into a tight grimace and he drummed his fingers impatiently against the edge of the stool as he nibbled his lip and kept talking to himself. Rose could only make out a few words, _speed_ , _orbit_ , _wavelength_ , _velocity_ … She shrugged it off and sipped on a glass of water when a strong hand settled on her shoulder and shook her harder than necessary. She almost choked on her water and had to cough repeatedly to chase the burn from her throat before she turned on her heels to face the man responsible.

 

“Get me a double scotch,” a dirty-blond haired young man ordered with a slur in his voice. “And go change, slut. Can almost see your cunt from here.”

 

Rose looked nervously around to make sure her boss hadn’t witnessed this very particular client and leaned toward the young man with fury in her eyes.

 

“What are you doing here, Jimmy?” she asked lowly with a scowl. “You’re drunk again, aren’t you?”

“No ‘m fine. Get me that scotch and we’ll go home.”

“My shift ends in four hours, I can’t leave like that and you know it. And I told you, I’m sleeping at my mum’s tonight anyway.”

 

Jimmy frowned as his face distorted into angered features and he grabbed her tightly by the arm, tight enough that Rose knew it would leave red marks until the morning later, possibly a few bruises. She winced and tried to free her arm from his vice-like grip as discreetly as she could, not wanting to make unnecessary fuss in the middle of her shift. But he wouldn’t let go and his nails dug so hard into her skin she was sure her skin broke.

 

“Okay, okay,” she conceded after swallowing a yelp of pain. “I’ll go home tonight. But after my shift.”

 

The concession seemed to calm his nerves a little and he released her arm with a growl before he slammed his hand on the counter to remind her of his order. She had no choice but to go fetch his drink that she carefully put in front of him. She watched with a pang of disgust as he swallowed his double scotch all at once and turned glassy eyes with heavy eyelids on her, shamelessly eyeing her breasts. He tugged on her arm with more force than was necessary and blew an alcohol-saturated breath onto her face.

 

“You’d best be in my bed when I wake up,” he threatened, digging a thumb into her wrist.

 

She bit the inside of her cheek, repelled by the way he slanted his scotch-tinged mouth against hers. He gave her a sharp slap on the bum and he was off.

Rose kept her grunt of rage for herself and took another look around, sure that someone had witnessed the short interaction. Everyone was still merrily chatting, laughing, joking, drinking, dancing. Even the weird bloke who should have heard the conversation given his closeness was still nose-deep into his notepad. A small sigh of relief escaped her lips and her professional smile – however fake it was – returned to her face. She had a job to do and she wouldn’t waver.

The rest of the night happened without any incidents, apart from a few broken glasses and an altercation that was quickly squelched by her boss. Rose kept playing the perfect waitress and was even rewarded with a few tips. The members of the stag party left rather early, too drunk to even realize they had all been crammed in a taxi, other clients lingered until an hour before closing time, the others made the most of the little time left to down a few other drinks. And the weird bloke stayed with his untouched glass of whiskey until the very end.

Rose approached him slowly and tucked a lock of blond hair that had escaped from her ponytail behind her ear.

 

“Excuse me?” she called out, trying to catch his eyes. “I’m sorry, but we’re closing.”

 

He looked up to her and she noticed with an inner smile that his square glasses had dropped to the tip of his nose. He looked cute. Too skinny, maybe, but his thin and handsome features, his vivid brown eyes and pouty lower lip more than made up for it. He tucked his small notepad in a pocket and took out his wallet to place a bill in her hand.

 

“Sorry,” he apologized with a sheepish smile. “I got lost in all this this.”

 

He patted the pocket in which he had concealed his notepad and took off his glasses.

 

“And what is this, exactly?” Rose politely asked, intrigued.

“Oh, just… Some of the work I have to present to a science committee tomorrow afternoon. Final step to get my Doctorate, yay me!”

 

He gave an unconvincing laugh and fiddled with a temple of his glasses, obviously nervous. Rose offered a smile and accompanied him to the double door.

 

“Well, good luck then. I’m sure you’ll do brilliantly.”

“Yes, well, I do hope so,” he crunched his nose. “I’ve been working on this for two years, it would be a shame if I mucked it up, wouldn’t it?”

“Oh but you won’t,” she encouraged, granting him a bright smile. “If you ever get the chance to come back here to tell me how it went, I’ll make sure to buy you a drink.”

“Yes, well, maybe,” he shrugged as he scratched the back of his head. “Thanks for your service, Rose.”

“How do you know my name?” she asked with a hint of suspiciousness.

“Oh, sorry, hum, heard it earlier? I didn’t mean to be rude or anything, I just… I’m sorry.”

“That’s quite alright,” she laughed, rather charmed by his stuttering. “Well, good luck again for tomorrow, Mister…?”

“Oh, John. I mean Smith. Mister Smith, but you can call me by my first name, John. Whichever you like.”

“Right. Goodnight then, Mister Smith.”

“Yes, good night, indeed, rather warm, and clear enough to see the stars,” he told her, lifting his thumb towards the sky. “But… You meant goodbye. Sorry, I’m just a bit nervous for… You know, tomorrow. So yes, goodnight to you too, and maybe we’ll catch up later, yes?”

 

Rose chuckled softly and nodded her agreement before he gave her a quick salute and wandered off. It was rare for a night to end like this and she appreciated much more than she ought to have. Maybe it was the knowledge that she still had to clean up the whole place, which would take at least another hour, that had her fully enjoy this short moment of respite. Maybe it was because she knew Jimmy was waiting for her in their shabby flat, in their shabby bed, and that he would lash out against her for her disobedience. Maybe it was because she knew she had been struggling for far too long to live so miserable a life.

But Mister John Smith had brought a little light in her otherwise dark life, and she was glad he did.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter of one of the most challenging stuff I've ever written!
> 
> Please, be mindful of the tags and warnings, they're here for a reason.
> 
> Thanks to all the readers who left kudos and comments, it's greatly appreciated!
> 
> I hope you'll like it!

* * *

 

 

Rose dropped her keys on the coffee table and hang her navy blue coat on the rack near the door. It was dark in her small flat and it was silent. Jimmy must have had fallen asleep as soon as he had gotten home because he was too drunk to do anything else, she guessed. Still, she didn't want to try her luck too much and wouldn't go to her mother's. Jimmy knew where she lived and Rose, as much as she was dying to leave this shabby two-room flat and abandon him like the vermin he was, wouldn't take any chances. He had already threatened her mother and Rose was perfectly aware he was the kind of bloke to abide by his word and sneer at the consequences.

 

She jumped with a gasp of fear when the light flickered on and Jimmy appeared, leaning against the doorframe to their room with a cigarette butt hanging from his lips. He was dressed in a pair of black boxers, bare-chested, and threw her a glassy, dark look - the kind of look she knew didn't bide well.

 

Rose didn’t waver when he flexed his muscles to scare her and she stared into his eyes, challenging him to dare hit her. She had to admit, the transformation of his body throughout the years had been impressive. When he was once wiry and probably weighed even less than she did, he was now muscular and possessed a strength that more often than not scared her. There had been a few times when those arms could have killed her but she had always managed to escape unscathed – more or less.

Jimmy made a show of rolling the joints of his shoulders and Rose felt a shiver run down her spine. But she wouldn’t waver. She was used to these attempts at intimidation and It didn’t work anymore.

 

"Where 'ave you been?" he drawled, putting out his cigarette carelessly on the frame of the door.

 

Rose lifted her eyes to the ceiling with a sigh of exasperation. God, how much she hated that drunken voice. Still, she remained as composed as could be. No use bursting into a fit of anger when he was like this, nothing good would come out of it. She took off the heels that had been killing her feet for far too long and went to fetch a mug in the small cupboard in the kitchenette.

 

"Working," she replied with a shrug as she turned the kettle on. "Someone's gotta pay the rent and I remember being the only one earning enough money for it."

 

Jimmy grunted and strode on wobbling legs towards her, reaching to grasp a fistful of her blond hair and tug on it harshly, which earned him a yelp of pain and an elbow on his ribcage. He received the blow as if he’d been gently poked by a stick of wood and his fingers dug sharply in the soft skin of her cheeks.

 

"Don't play dumb with me, Tyler," he croaked, anger seeping from his every pore. "You should 'ave been home an hour ago."

"I was on cleaning duty tonight!" she yelled in defense. "Took me longer than expected. Let go of me you bloody wanker, you're hurting me!"

 

Well, there went her composure. Rose was aware insulting him wasn’t the brightest strategy to help calm his nerves, but so much anger was boiling in her veins it was ward to keep the words in. She cried out in pain when he pulled on her hair even harder and she had to kneel in front of him. Tears of humiliation ran down her cheeks and she heard his heavy breathing pick up its pace as he looked down on her.

 

“Who is it you’ve been fucking behind my back?” Jimmy seethed as Rose struggled to shift her submissive position to alleviate the pain in her neck and shoulders.

“You’re drunk, Jimmy, stop this!” Rose cried, helpless.

“WHO?” he roared even louder, and Rose thought he might actually tear off a strand of her hair from her painful scalp.

“No one, for God’s sake! No one, I swear!”

“Oh, that’s good, sweetheart, then,” he nodded with a heinous smile. “Because only _I_ get to fuck you.”

 

Rose’s eyes widened in fear and her nails scratched the floor in a desperate attempt to get away, but despite his inebriated state he was quick. And he was so much stronger than she was. She wanted to protest, to plead, to beg. She felt her stomach churn and renewed tears spring in the corner of her eyes. She tried to put as much pressure as she could on his feet with her knees to hurt him and she was rewarded with a laugh that turned her insides upside down.

 

“Don’t, Jimmy, you don’t know what you’re doing,” she implored between laborious sobs.

 

She dug her nails in his calves in a desperate attempt to make him stop, but his boxers were already down his knees and his hands painfully clenching on each side of her face to keep her mouth open. She suppressed a heave of disgust when he unceremoniously filled her mouth and closed her eyes. She wished she could pretend this wasn’t happening, she wished she could be anywhere but here, she wished he could disappear and be gone forever. She thought about anything and everything, to put her mind on something else, keep it busy with good memories and dreams she had when she was still too young and too naïve. This wasn’t supposed to happen. All she had ever dreamed for was a nice man that would take her on romantic dates, make sweet love to her, buy her a few gifts. A man she would have married, have had kids and spent the rest of her days with. A simple life, nothing fancy. A normal, simple life with its joys and disappointments. But Jimmy Stone wasn’t that man.

Bile rose in her throat and she gagged under his relentless assault, all the grunts and moans flowing out of his mouth making spikes of shame pierce through her heart. Sod the childish dreams. This was her reality now. And she was determined to make it end.

 

“Come on, slut,” he groaned, increasing the force and the speed of his thrusts.

 

Rose hissed in pain through her nose when his thumbs dug into her temples and made her head spin. Hopefully this would be over soon. It would all be over soon. She found enough courage to work her tongue on him, make it quicker so she wouldn’t have to suffer any longer. Her breath got caught in her throat and he released a low growl of completion. His solid grip on her face finally relaxed and she was able to pull herself free. She got on her feet as fast as she could and ran to the bathroom before she locked the door.

 

“Thanks, sweetheart,” she heard him call out, followed by a guttural laugh.

 

Rose spat everything into the porcelain bowl and squeezed all that was left of her toothpaste in her mouth to get rid of the salty taste clinging to her tongue. She brushed her teeth hard enough to make her gums bleed but she didn’t mind. The metallic taste of blood was better. So much better. She rinsed her mouth with a copious amount of water then brushed her teeth again, and repeated the operation twice. No matter how strong the mint was, how much the soft skin of her inner cheeks burnt, it still didn’t feel enough. She eventually threw the toothbrush in the small bin and stared at her reflection in the mirror.

Rose thought she had never looked like this. Her usually carefully brushed hair was all messy, knots and stands tangled together in disheveled fashion, her jaw was already showing signs of coming hematomas that matched the ones he had made on her arms a few hours earlier. And her eyes. She had always found her eyes pretty. Now, the honey-colored irises almost seemed grey as if a storm was raging behind them. And the mascara that had awfully melted because of her tears didn’t help. Those eyes lacked the gleam of happiness that used to shine there. They were dull. She hated them.

 She hated the small cracks at the corner of her lips, painful reminder of her almost daily torture. She hated her hair, that was once falling elegantly on her shoulders and frame her face with a beautiful halo of sunny reflections. She hated her hollowed cheeks that revealed she could barely afford to put food on the table. She hated herself for letting all of this happened.

Suddenly, her eyes fell on a single penny. A simple penny, on the edge of the sink.

 

“No, no, no no no,” she breathed out repeatedly. “You’re kidding me, come on, don’t do this to me.”

 

Her shaky fingers fumbled with her toilet bag, heart hammering wildly against her ribcage. She reached for a little wooden box with intricate flower engravings and a tiny locket. A gift from her mum that she had received for her fifth birthday. A box that held her very own treasure. A sob escaped her lips and she sat on the edge of the tub, head spinning fast and eyes staring at nothing but the bottom of the box. Of the empty box. The perfect metaphor for her pitiful life.

Her whole body shook with cries as she held the little box close to her chest, every hope of getting a better life sucked into a void of despair. She had tried. Every single coin and every single bill she had received as tips when working at the bar were gone. All of her savings, gone. She didn’t even bother ask who was responsible. She wouldn’t even ask him what he’d done with the money because she already knew the answer. She’d just keep her mouth shut and go back from the start.

 

“Fuck you, Jimmy Stone,” she cursed lowly, putting back the single penny in the box.

 

The first penny of the money she would need to get her plan back into motion. She’d been hoping to save some money to get private lessons, learn something to get a diploma, and eventually get a better job. She just wanted to earn enough money to find someplace else to live with her mum, somewhere Jimmy wouldn’t find them and she could finally live a normal life. She had carefully planned all of this and it should have worked, if only bloody Jimmy Stone hadn’t stuck his fingers through the gears.

Now, back to square one, she’d have to work more, work harder, try to study on her own just to find a better job that would help her get out of this stinking mud. Rose didn’t lack courage or conviction, she simply lacked luck and support. But she would fight, no matter what.

 

* * *

 

John tightened the knot of his tie and tried to smooth the creases on his long coat as best as he could. He reached inside his pocket to take out his phone and chuckled sadly. A text from his best friend and one from his sister. Both asking how it went. He knew he’d never been one to have a plethora of friends, but it was still disappointing not to be able to share his success with more people. Well, maybe he could share it with the nice waitress he’d met the night before, but now that he was facing the bar he hesitated.

He didn’t like bars, he didn’t like loud music and he didn’t like drinking. He’d sat at this counter the night before because he couldn’t sleep, and this bar had been the only one open in his vicinity. Better to drown in a sea of people and fake a social life than pace around his flat like a lost puppy. It had probably saved him from a panic attack and helped him keep his mind off the stressful presentation for some time. But the science committee was behind him now, there was no point in inflicting such torture to himself. Except maybe meeting the waitress again. Socialize a little. It couldn’t hurt, and maybe he could get another friend.

John took a deep breath and pushed the swinging door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and John get to know each other a little better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it didn't take long for me to fall on the pink side of fluff again...  
> But it won't last, so enjoy it while you can!
> 
> Thanks for reading, I hope you'll like it!

* * *

 

 

Rose untucked the clean cloth from her belt and wiped the remnants of a spilt beer from the table. She lacked her usual energy and her sore arm made the task uncomfortable, but she had to ignore the pain. She needed to do her best if she wanted to keep this job. Thankfully, it was a calm night and the few people scattered around the bar were already taken care of by Louisa. Her boss had even asked her if she wanted to go home, but she had refused. Not only going home meant not being paid, it also meant going back to Jimmy, and she wasn’t ready for that. The further away she stayed from that man, the better. Being bored here was better than being abused there.

Rose turned her head towards the door when it opened and a small smile flashed on her face – which painfully reminded her of her sore jaw and bruises she had managed to hide with make-up. John Smith appeared, clad in a pinstriped suit and a long brown coat flapping on his sides. He stopped to take a look around the bar and his eyes brightened when he saw her. He wiggled his fingers with a grin that split his thin face in two and headed for the counter. He took off his coat and carefully folded it on a stool before he sat.

Rose made a quick job of cleaning the remaining table and went behind the counter before Louisa could. She wasn’t going to let the opportunity to spend some time with him slip between her fingers.

 

“Mister Smith,” she greeted, her smile matching his. “You came for your free drink?”

“Hum, yes, well, no, I mean, not exactly,” he stuttered, and Rose couldn’t conceal a giggle of amusement.

“You presented your work to the scientists today, right?” she asked politely. “Your two-year research paper for your doctorate?”

“Yes, I did, indeed,” he confirmed.

 

He fumbled with his coat and took out a small envelope from his inner pocket. He squinted at it with a grimace and handed it to her with as much care as if it had been a bomb. Rose examined the front of the envelope, on which his name was written, then turned it around to find a seal of wax representing the emblem of the most renowned university she knew of. She raised an eyebrow at him and noticed how he was nervously nibbling his lower lip – she was quite sure his leg was involuntarily shaking like the night before, even if she couldn’t see it. A spark of understanding lit in her eyes and she reverently put the envelope down on the counter.

 

“Those are your results, aren’t they?” she prompted – and it made him wince.

“Unofficial results, yes,” he admitted with a slight tremolo in his voice. “It usually doesn’t bide well to receive this before the official letter. That’s why I couldn’t open it.”

“Well, I think you should,” she smiled. “Whatever is in there, you can’t change it. Don’t you want to know?”

“I guess I do and I don’t at the same time,” he shrugged as his fingers tapped a quick rhythm on the counter. “Hum, would you open it for me, please? The hit will be easier to take if the bad news come with your voice.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude, this is rather personal.”

“Oh, I’m sure. Please?”

 

Rose nodded slowly and picked up the envelope from the counter. John watched with rapt attention as she ran a nail under the seal and the top of the envelope lifted. She didn’t know why but her heart rate increased exponentially. It shouldn’t have mattered much to her, but somehow she was convinced she’d be as disappointed as he’d be if those results were not good. He seemed to be such a nice man and she could totally imagine him spending sleepless night, nose deep into his paper, working hard on his subject. He probably deserved to get his diploma and she’d be happy for him. She didn’t know the thrill of being received on a high-scale exam like this, but maybe she could share his joy and excitement, just to get a taste of what it felt like to succeed.

John cleared his throat when he judged she had spent way too much time staring at the opened envelope and she apologized with a soft smile. Her fingers reached into the envelope and took out a paper the size of a business card. It _was_ a business card. She eyed the few lines of text and she bit her cheek to keep her grin for herself and not ruin the suspense.

John shuffled on his stool and leaned forward, eager to find out what the envelope held. It was unnerving to see her read what was written on the little piece of paper, turn it upside down, turn it again and read again. Surely such a tiny piece of paper wouldn’t take that long to read, would it? He clasped his fingers atop the counter and his knuckles turned ghost-white when she finally opened her mouth.

 

“Well,” she started, and he pricked up his ear. “I guess you’ve deserved your free drink, Doctor Smith.”

 

She gave him a tongue-touched grin and he gaped at her for a few moments before the information kicked in. She even laughed when he reached for the paper with eyes as big as saucers that trailed on the card in amazement. There was the address of the university, a telephone number and another three-digit number that matched the head office of the science department. But that couldn’t be, not just after graduating. Impossible. But then his eyes landed on the top of the card. He’d made the impossible possible. He had skyrocketed to the most important office of the science department when he thought he had failed his last and crucial exam.

 

“Am I reading this right?” he asked Rose, flabbergasted.

“Yes, you are,” she laughed heartily. “I told you you’d be brilliant.”

 

Rose felt suddenly much lighter and the joy she read on his face filled her heart with delight. She gasped with a giggle when he bent across the counter to give her a crushing hug and a kiss on the cheek. She patted his back softly and he beamed at her with such bliss and pride she felt butterflies flapping their wings in her stomach. Maybe that was what it felt like to succeed?

John still couldn’t believe it. His heart was beating so fast and so strong against his ribcage he thought it might explode. He was quite unable to describe what he was feeling, but he knew it felt good. And maybe it was because of the surge of adrenaline rushing through his blood or because of the heavy wave of relief crashing through his whole body and making him weak, but he thought this woman, this Rose, might become his most charming friend.

 

“You, Rose, are my lucky angel,” John smiled broadly. “Would you like to celebrate with me after your shift?  We could go for chips, or a pizza, or anything you like, all on me.”

“Oh, Doctor Smith, I…”

“Please, call me John?” he asked with a grin.

“Yes, well, John, I’m not sure I can,” she confessed sheepishly, unconsciously rubbing her bruised jaw. “I’d like to, but…”

“We won’t be long, if you’re worried about what time you’ll get home,” he informed her with gentle pat on her shoulder, clueless about the reasons why she couldn’t do it.

 

It had been so long since Rose had enjoyed the simple pleasure of going out with someone, with her friends, the temptation was hard to resist. But if Jimmy learned about this, the consequences would be terrifying. She knew how jealous he could get and she had seen one of her friend end up with a broken nose and a concussion. She had suffered his blows and humiliation, and she wasn’t ready to fall prey to his violent fits of anger again.

John was looking at her expectantly and the gleam in his eyes made her heart stutter. It was his day, his night, and she really wanted to grant him that small wish – which in her case was more of a fate-tempting venture. The cons greatly outweighed the pros, but wasn’t that the story of her life? The little risks she dared to take were often linked to aftermaths that weren’t worth it. She’d already gotten a black eye because she had simply phoned her mum too early in the morning, for God’s sake.

Rose glanced around the bar and noticed it was mostly empty. If the offer her boss had made still stood, well… Maybe there was a chance she’d get back home in time and Jimmy would never hear of this.

 

“Wait here,” she told him before she disappeared in a backroom.

 

John fiddled with his envelope while he waited, his whole body buzzing with excitement. A privileged moment with this sweet woman would be fantastic, for him, and maybe for her, he thought. He might have hidden it well enough, but he’d seen the sadness in her eyes, along with the fierce look of someone who’s had to face trouble more than once and would do anything to protect themselves. He wouldn’t pry, of course, but if a few chips could lift her spirits a little he’d be delighted. He liked her. She was nice, funny, seemed to be highly intelligent, and her kindness was just as incredible as the aura of strength emanating from her petite frame. Her sorrow might have obscured her features but the genuine smiles she flashed every now and then left no doubt about it: she was beautiful.

John was cut out from his thoughts when the door opened and a deep voice reached his ears.

 

“And I want you here at eight tomorrow, Tyler!”

 

Rose reappeared with her navy blue coat and a long multicolored scarf around her neck, the kind of smile John liked to see illuminating her face.

 

“So, where are we going, then?” she asked excitedly as he grinned and put his own coat on.

“The chippy down the street?” he suggested while tucking his envelope back in his pocket.

“Perfect. Oh, and thanks for inviting me, John, that’s really sweet of you.”

“You are quite welcome, Miss Tyler,” he winked at her. “So, ready?”

“Absolutely!”

 

John locked their arms together and Rose giggled when he held the door for her and bowed with exaggerated courtesy, making a weird reeling movement with his hand to indicate she should go first. She playfully slapped his shoulder and he grinned sheepishly. Rose felt warmth spread in her chest and she realized she had missed things like this. It may have been silly, but it made her feel happy.

They strolled lazily down the street and John enjoyed her hand wrapped around his forearm more than he would dare to admit. He’d been told many times that he wasn’t good with people – hence the desperate void that was his love life – but with Rose it was easy. He didn’t have to overthink everything and his bubbly nature took advantage of the easy way things rolled between them. He had learned to keep his lame jokes for himself and reign his sudden fits of excitement over nothing, but with Rose this particular knowledge didn’t matter. She seemed to enjoy his lame jokes and watched him with a smile whenever he found something irrelevant to babble on without end.

 

“Look, Rose, Orion!” he suddenly exclaimed, pointing at the night sky. “Beautiful constellation, usually hard to see around here. Marvelous! This was my favorite when I was a kid, I spent hours watching it with my telescope.”

“Is that what you study, then? Stars, I mean?” Rose asked all while trying to find the constellation he was talking about.

“Oh, not anymore,” he shook his head as they kept walking. “Now I’m studying physics and mathematics. Less fun, but extremely useful to study the planets. Planets are incredible, we already know lots of stuff about our solar system but there is so much left to learn. A lifetime is not enough to learn about the wonders of the universe, but well, I guess I’m stupid enough to try.”

 

He wiggled his eyebrows and Rose realized they already were at the chippy. He opened the door for her again and was rewarded by another one of her warm laugh. He was growing rather fond of that laugh. And Rose realized she hadn’t laughed and smiled this much in such a short time for an eternity. It felt like all her troubles were flying out the window when she was with him.

She sat at a table while he went to order some chips and took a look at her watch. It was fine for now, she still had two hours before she’d have to head back home. And at this point, she would have been glad to just say _sod it_ and enjoy the company of this nice man. It had been too long since she’d had so much fun and she’d be damned if she regretted it because of a wanker who never did anything for her.

John came back with a tray full of hot chips along with two sodas and sat next to her with a sigh of contentment. They both picked up their soft drinks and clanged their cardboard glasses with a shared smile.

 

“To your flabbergasting success, Doctor Smith,” Rose cheered before she swallowed a large gulp.

“Let’s just call this an achievement for now,” he winked with a grin. “So, what about you, Miss Tyler? How did you end up in that bar?”

 

Rose almost choked on her drink and a raging blush spread on her cheeks. Of course he would want to know about her, but what could she say to a Doctor in physics and mathematics and stuff she didn’t know anything about? She wished she could impress him, shine a little, but how to shine when you’re swallowed by darkness?

John sensed his question had made her uncomfortable – which he immediately regretted – and shuffled uneasily on his seat.

 

“I’m sorry, this was inappropriate,” he apologized softly. “Always too curious, me.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine,” Rose shrugged as she picked a chip and stuffed it unceremoniously in her mouth. “It’s just… You’re going to think I’m dumb because I’ve failed at everything.”

“Of course I won’t,” he huffed as if he were offended. “You’re very clever, Rose, anyone with eyes can see that.”

“I left school before I could pass my A-Levels, how clever is that? I don’t have any diplomas, any experiences apart from that lousy bar. I tried to save money, just to get private lessons and finally move on, but… Well, someone stole that money. I’d been saving the tips people give me at the bar for three years, I almost had enough. Now I’m left with nothing and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

 

John bit his lip when he saw tears beginning to form in her honey eyes and he wished he’d never asked that stupid question. It broke his heart to see how hard she tried to get a better life, never to succeed. He was convinced that she was clever enough to make anything work but that life and luck just weren’t on her side. Maybe she just needed a little help to get on the right tracks?

He ran his napkin under her eyes to dry her tears and twined his fingers between hers, gently caressing her soft skin with his thumb. Rose felt so ashamed to be crying in front of a man she barely knew, so ashamed to already have confessed one of her worst fault. But she was tired of being strong when life kept getting back to ruin her every chance of finally succeeding. It was even harder to be strong when this man, whom she already considered as a friend, made all her barriers crumble and made her bare her heart without any hesitation.

Rose sniffed and apologized softly for ruining their impromptu celebration.

 

“That’s quite alright,” he smiled gently, rubbing her forearm. “What kind of celebration doesn’t have its share of tears, hey?”

“Not funny,” she nonetheless laughed as she gave him a soft slap on the sigh.

“You want funny?” he asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

“Shoot, Doctor.”

“What if I could give you those private lessons, hm?” he asked with a grin, offering her a chip between his fingers. “You and me, no talks of money or payment or whatever. You get to choose what you’d want to do with your life and we work on it together. How funny would that be?”

 

Rose swallowed the chip with a loud gulp and gaped at him. John beamed at her as he kept eating chip after chip, waiting for her to make a comment on his – particularly brilliant, he thought – idea.

 

“But…” Rose made a weak protest. “You’re a Doctor now. Head of the science department. You won’t have time to teach a dummy like me.”

“One, you’re not a dummy, you’re brilliant,” he gave her a broad smile. “Two, as head of the department, I manage my schedule as I please. Three, it would be my pleasure to help you. Isn’t that what friends are for? I wouldn’t know, I only have one friend, two if you’ll allow me to count you in, and he’s never been quite helpful. Well, quite the opposite in fact. Doesn’t matter, I just want to help you. So, what do you say, Rose Tyler?”

“Well, I…” she started, hope blooming in her stomach.

“Excellent!” he cut as he happily clapped his hands together. “That settles it. I’ll give you my phone number and you can text me whenever you want to meet. Now, should we get back to celebrating?”

 

Rose stared in awe at this weird man eating his chips with a wide grin as if he were a kid eating candy in secret and winking at her as if she were his partner in crime. She thought he might be crazy, but if crazy could help her get back on her feet, she’d love crazy until the end of time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose gets ready for her first lesson, but maybe she should have picked another outfit...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't hoping to write this story this fast, but it seems inspiration is on my side these days!
> 
> More angst in this chapter, some fluff if you squint hard enough (it took me great deal of self-control not to make it too fluffy, my fingers are itching to write cute scenes, but I can't do it... Yet!).
> 
> Again, mind the warnings!
> 
> I hope you'll like this chapter, and huge thanks to all the wonderful readers who leave comments and kudos!

* * *

 

 

That morning, Rose woke up much earlier than usual, and the best thing was she wasn’t even tired. She couldn’t remember the last time she had risen from her bed with so much impatience making her stomach flutter and so much joy she wanted to sing. She took a look at the other side of the bed and released a sigh of disgust. Jimmy was sprawled over the bed, snoring so loud Rose thought it might have woken up the dead. She shook her head and gathered the clothes she had carefully prepared the night before when Jimmy wasn’t there. If he’d seen the dress and the heels he might have thrown another jealous temper and the last thing she wanted was to ruin the day of her first lesson.

She and John had picked a date that suited them both and they were to meet in the middle of the morning at the university. Since she had received the confirmation for their appointment, Rose had been counting the days and cursed the hands of her watch that weren’t going fast enough to her liking. She simply couldn’t wait for her lessons to start. The faster she’d learn, the sooner she’d be moving out.

She showered quickly, dried her hair and twisted it into an elegant bun, slipped her pretty blue dress on along with matching blue tights and finally put her make-up on. She kept it light, given there was no current bruises to be concealed. When she was satisfied with the overall result, she gave herself a smile in the mirror and went back to the living room.

She hummed softly to herself while she made sure nothing was missing in her small backpack. She had managed to gather enough money to buy a large notepad, a few pens and a pencil case. It wasn’t much, but it would have to do. She felt like a kid going back to school, but this time it also felt important. She wouldn’t give up half-way through the courses and she was determined to make it work. It was now her only way out of this hellhole.

 

She was about to put on her shoes when she heard some shuffling behind her. She closed her eyes and cursed under her breath.

 

“Where do you think you’re going dressed like that?” he croaked, voice still full of sleep.

“Going out with friends,” she shrugged without looking at him.

 

It wasn’t long before she felt his strong hand on her shoulder and he made her spun around. His breath stunk with vapors of the alcohol he had downed the night before and his eyes were dark as a starless night sky.

 

“I don’t think so,” he growled as he tugged forcefully the shoulder of her dress.

“Stop this, Jimmy!” she cried out, digging her nails into his hand so it would release its hold. “You’ll tear it!”

“My, my, you can be brilliant, Rosy,” he grinned. “That’s a good idea.”

 

He used both of his hand to take a good old on the dress and his muscles rolled her his skin as the first seams on the dress broke free. Rose yelled some more and struggled to get away from him, but he had so much strength she felt like a rag doll in his hands. She managed to kick him in the shin with the tip of her shoe and he groaned in pain. That wasn’t good.

Rose immediately regretted her move when he punched her in the gut. She yelped in pain and her breath got caught in her throat, her whole stomach and abdomen clenching to fight the wave of pain that coursed through her flesh. Tears flowing from her eyes, she had to lean forward in a desperate attempt to soothe the pain, but Jimmy wouldn’t let her. He twisted one of her arm behind her back and his free hand kept ripping the garment apart until only tatters remained.

Jimmy did the same to het tights and Rose soon found herself almost naked in the middle of her living room, heavy tears rolling down her cheeks and her whole body aching.

 

“I hate you… So much,” she managed to whisper between labored breaths.

 

Jimmy heard her and her clenched his fingers around her bun to bend her head backwards. Rose knew she had gone too far, but she was tired. She was so tired of all of this. She almost dry-heaved when his face got so close to hers his stinking breath invaded her nostrils.

 

“You love me, Rose,” he seethed between his teeth.

“No I don’t,” she replied with a hint of challenge in her weak voice. “I never have.”

“Fine,” he grunted as he released her hair.

 

Rose thought that might have been the end of her torture, but she also knew it was weird that he had given up so easily. And she was right to doubt.

She had barely steadied herself on her feet that he grabbed her shoulders with a roar of rage and pushed her with all his strength towards the bathroom. Her reflexes were too slow, and she ended up hitting her head against the doorframe. She cried out in pain and her hand went to her forehead where the wood of the frame had split her skin. Large drops of blood ran between her fingers and down her face, but Jimmy didn’t care. He simply crashed on the couch and lit a cigarette.

 

“That’ll teach you a lesson, slut,” he grinned as he watched her bleed. “Now go put on some clothes, you disgust me.”

 

Rose sobbed loudly as she reached for a clean towel in the bathroom. She pressed it against the cut with a wince and a loud hiss in a hopeful attempt to stop the bleeding. The whole cut was throbbing and she could already feel a large bump growing under her skin. Soon, the small towel was soaked with blood and she had to take another one. Her head was spinning a little and white dots appeared in her field of vision, which made her tears fall even more freely. What if she needed to go to the hospital? There was no one to take her and Jimmy would confiscate her phone before she could call anyone.

She pressed the towel even harder on the wound and it was with great relief that she noticed that the stain on the towel had stopped growing. No hospital, then. Good. She’d take the tiniest crumb of luck she could get these days.

Rose went to the mirror and carefully removed the towel to see the extent of the damage. The cut was rather large, starting above her hairline to the middle of her forehead, but it looked shallow. And it had almost stopped bleeding. The size of the bump, however, was impressive, and the sore skin had already turned dark hues of blue and green. She wouldn’t be able to conceal that one. She pressed a cotton pad sprayed with disinfectant against the wound and kept it in place with medical tape.

When she bent to pick up the dirty towel her stomach painfully reminded her of the blow it had received. It was bearable, but it would hurt for a few days and a large bruise now covered her usually creamy skin.

 

“I hope you’ll rot in hell, you bastard,” she cursed in a wheeze, making sure he wouldn’t hear her.

 

Rose managed clean the blood off her hair without straining her aching body too much and to tie them into a lose bun. She wondered if she ought to meet John today, given her pitiful state, but her decision was quickly made. She wouldn’t spend more time than absolutely necessary near that man – if Jimmy could be called a man at all.

She quickly wiped the blood from her face and fixed her make up to erase the remnant tracks her mascara had left in the wake of her tears, then sprayed some perfume on her neck. If she couldn’t look pretty, at least she could smell nice. The cotton pad was discarded in the small bin and once she’d made sure the cut had stopped bleeding, she went back to her bedroom.

She fetched a simple pair of jeans, a black blouse and a grey cardigan. It wasn’t the best choice, but she grabbed whatever came first. She couldn’t stand this flat anymore, couldn’t stand its smell, its dull white walls, its worn floor. It didn’t feel like home. It felt like a prison cell she had to live in with the worst of inmates. The faster she got out, the better. She put on a pair of sneakers and went back to the living room to fetch her backpack, her purse, her coat and her scarf and she was gone without throwing him a single glance.

She heavily breathed in once she was outside her flat and took a minute to compose herself. She carefully put on her navy blue coat and rolled her long scarf around her neck. Her head was still spinning a little, but it felt better – apart from the severely throbbing wound on her forehead, obviously. She donned her small backpack and tightened the straps. She was ready to go – and ready to never come back here, if only it had been possible. She reached into her purse for her phone and dialed John’s number. A few seconds later, his voice filtered through the device and in the moment it sounded like the sweetest music to her ears.

 

“Hey John,” she breathed out, relieved to finally hear a friendly words. “I’m sorry, I had a little accident at home. I’ll be ten minutes late. Oh, no I’m fine, don’t worry, I just fell. I’m headed for the tube right now. Yes, see you.”

 

* * *

 

John felt the little teeth of worry gnaw at his insides. He didn’t like the sound of that voice. He hated the idea of Rose being hurt and that’s exactly what her voice had let transpire. So much hurt. He hadn’t been to make out precisely if she had sounded that way because of a physical injury or an emotional one. Maybe it was even both at the same time. Either way, he hated it. They had only met twice and exchanged a few texts but it had been enough for him to consider her as his friend and his protégée. Rose was a brave, strong woman and maybe he shouldn’t feel the need to protect her, but he couldn’t help it. He just wanted her to be happy.

John paced the sidewalk, hand deep in the pockets of his long coat, and watched the end of the street where Rose should appear. A few students greeted him when they noticed the badge he was wearing with pride – _Doctor John Smith, Head of the Science Department_. He hadn’t liked wearing it much at first, embarrassed by the unnecessary attention it attracted. He had changed his mind when he had found out this badge could get him anywhere in the university, more particularly the large alleys in the library that were exclusively reserved for the professors. Oh, and it could get him free coffees. And since he’d started teaching classes a few days before, coffee had been his only salvation, so needless to say he had already made good use of this particular benefit. At the end of his first day of work, he wouldn’t have been surprised to find out pure coffee was flowing in his veins instead of blood.

But this day, he wouldn’t give any classes. He’d be working with Rose, and that knowledge alone was enough to keep his body buzzing with excitement and energy.

John beamed when Rose eventually appeared in the corner of the street and he waved merrily at her. She waved back with a small grin and it didn’t take long for her to join him. John hesitated as to how to greet her properly and went for a shy hug that she returned with a squeeze on his shoulder.

 

“Hello, Miss Tyler,” he grinned from ear to ear. “Ready to learn?”

“More than ever, Doctor,” she nodded in confirmation, hand tightening around the strap of her backpack.

 

A strand of hair moved away from her forehead because of her movement and John suppressed a gasp when he noticed the wound. Rose felt him look and she unconsciously brushed her hair so it could at least partially cover the cut and the bump.

 

“How did you get that?” John asked, concerned by the seriousness of the injury.

“I just tripped on my own feet and hit my head,” she evaded. “It should be fine, don’t worry.”

“That cut is too large to be left like that, it’ll get infected. It need stitching, Rose. Why didn’t you go to the hospital right away?”

 

Rose nervously bit her cheek and winced when he probed the bump with his fingertips and scrutinized the cut.

John knew she was lying. If she had fell on her own, her natural reflexes should have kicked in and the wound wouldn’t be as serious. She had been pushed, and rather violently given the size of the bump and the depth of the cut – which wasn’t as shallow as Rose had guessed it to be. Worry and concern clawed even harder at his stomach. Why wasn’t she being honest with him? Was she scared to tell him the truth? What kind of pitch black secret could she be hiding behind her beautiful smiles?

John had an idea – which chilled him to the bones – but if he was right, there wouldn’t be much he’d be able to do. They weren’t close enough yet for him to interfere in her private matters. The need to protect her made his fists clench but he knew she didn’t want protection. Not yet. He’d have to wait until she asked for his help. For now, all he could do was give her the support she required and try his best to make her feel better. Until he earned enough of her trust for her to confide in him.

He stopped examining the wound when he noticed she was shuffling uneasily on her feet and chewing her bottom lip nervously.

Rose had never felt so ashamed in her life. She didn’t know what kind of conclusion John has reached in his brilliant mind of his, but she was quite sure he’d already connected the few dots. He knew. But she wouldn’t tell him about it, she wouldn’t burden him any more than she already was. She’d keep her troubles to herself and simply be grateful that he was nice enough to offer her free courses.

 

“It was just a silly accident, nothing to be worried about,” she shrugged as if it weren’t that important.

“I beg to differ. We’ll make a small detour, okay?” he offered with a brush of his fingers against her cheek. “I’ve got to take care of my favorite student, haven’t I?”

“You don’t have to, John, really,” she said as she shook her head. “You giving me lessons is too much already, I don’t get to waste any more of your time.”

 

John tsk-ed with a wiggle of his index and gently took her by the arm.

 

“You, Rose Tyler, are not wasting time,” he smiled, hoping to comfort her a little. “You’re my friend, and as my friend you deserve all the attention I can give you. Now hush and let me lead the way.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Rose finally meet at the university

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are moving on slowly!
> 
> I'm dying to write fluff but it'll have to wait some more!
> 
> I hope you'll like this chapter, and thanks again for the comments and the kudos dear readers!

“And here we are!” John exclaimed as he opened the door.

 

Rose took a few shy steps in a bright white room which looked to be some kind of chemistry classroom. There a few tables and chairs along with large lab benches covered in vials, beakers and a lot of other stuff she’d only ever seen in television series. John gently made her sit on a chair and went to the cupboard to fetch a few items he put on some kind of rolling tray table. When he got back to her, he already had a pair of latex gloves on his hands and his square glasses perched on the top of his nose.

He sat on a stool as close to her as possible and Rose’s breath hitched when his thigh bumped against hers. He didn’t seem to notice and simply tilted her head backward a little to get a better look at her injury.

 

“So, I’m going to need to stitch this,” he informed her, rather matter-of-factly. “They could have just stapled this at the hospital but I don’t have the equipment, so we’re going to do this the old-fashioned way, yes?”

“Wait,” Rose interjected loudly, not fond of the idea. “Are you sure this is safe? You know how to do this?”

“Rose, I wouldn’t do it if I wasn’t a hundred percent sure I could do it,” he reassured her with a pat on the leg. “Before I started studying physics, I studied medicine, and stitches are the first thing you learn. Nothing complicated about it, this is perfectly safe, okay?”

“Okay, yeah,” she breathed out, managing to relax a little.

“And I have this magic spray!” he smiled as he picked up a small white bottle on the tray. “Filled with anesthetic, so you’ll only feel a slight discomfort while I’m working. Would you close your eyes, please?”

 

Rose made herself more comfortable in her chair and did as she was told. Ever since she’d been with Jimmy, she’d had a hard time trusting people, but John was different. There was something about him that made all her defense mechanisms crumble and it scared her beyond reason. She trusted him more than anyone she had ever trusted in her life when she knew she shouldn’t. She had spent way too little time with him to really know him. What if he happened to be just like Jimmy? What if he was just manipulating her? What if he wanted to hurt her? She shivered lightly at the thought and her fingers clasped the armrests of her chair more tightly.

She bit her inner cheek when she felt what must have been a cotton pad press just below the cut. The warm latex of his gloves brushed the skin on her forehead and she shrieked when he sprayed his miracle lotion on the wound.

 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized softly, dabbing his cotton pad over the cut. “Forgot to warn you this would be cold. You’ll feel the effect in a minute. Don’t open your eyes if you don’t want to see the needle.”

 

John Smith, the ever considerate man, she thought with an inner smile. But she had seen worse than a big needle in her life and she pried her eyes open. He raised an eyebrow and smiled at her as she stared at the rather long needle from which a long black thread hang. Not as impressive as she thought it be, but still, the size of it was intimidating. He made a knot in the thread and carefully cut the excess length her wouldn’t need with a pair of clean scissors.

Rose felt a shiver course through her limbs as he examined the wound from up close and every angle. And she seized the opportunity to study his face. His slightly crooked nose, his left eyebrow that seemed to move totally independently from the other one, his pouty lower lip and his neatly trimmed sideburns. It was a rather weird combination but somehow it all fitted together like puzzle pieces. He seemed a few years older than her, maybe five or six. Rose had to admit, she might not have noticed him if they’d crossed paths in the street, but now that they’d met she found him rather handsome.

And those eyes… The perfect shade of chocolate brown and the gleam of intelligence shining in their depth. Fierce and kind at the same time. Rose was sure he could set anyone on fire with one of his glare just as much as he could soothe a tormented spirit with a gentle look. He had already soothed hers. Kind of. Okay, maybe she’d known him for two weeks, but deep inside she felt she could trust him. There was no way these eyes could betray who he was. A clever, kind man. Her friend.

 

“Would you let me know if this hurts?” he asked softly – and Rose definitely crossed the possibility that he could want her any harm. “I need the make sure the magic spray has worked.”

 

He slightly pressed his gloved fingertips against her bump, and when she didn’t react he pressed harder. She took a quick intake of breath and her fingers clenched tighter around the armrests.

 

“Still hurts?” he inquired, immediately removing his fingers.

“No, it’s fine,” she breathed out slowly. “It just feels really weird.”

“Good, that means the stitching won’t hurt,” he smiled with a pat of reassurance on her thigh. “Six stitches should be enough. If you feel too uncomfortable or if it starts hurting again, please tell me, I’ll stop right away and spray some more magic.”

“Okay, thanks,” she nodded.  

 

John readjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose and carefully pinched the end of the cut, waiting for any reaction on her part. She only chewed her bottom lip and gave him a thumb up to let him know she was doing fine. Then, very slowly and with a precisely calculated angle, he pierced the skin with his needle and tugged on the thread.

 

“Okay?” he asked for confirmation.

“Perfect, _Doctor_.”

 

He smiled and went back to his job, being as meticulous as could be and always checking for a reaction to pain or discomfort. She only grimaced a little and shuffled on her chair, but she wasn’t hurting. Good. John was convinced the cause of this wound hadn’t been a simple accident and he didn’t want to add to her pain. He wasn’t stupid and her tentative smiles and her display of assurance didn’t fool him. It was just written all over her soft features that she was hurting inside. The scariest was that Rose was a strong and clever woman. It meant that whoever did this must be a brute with less emotional capacity than a mushroom, and it broke his heart. He couldn’t find any reason why such a wonderful person would be treated with so little respect – if his theory was right at all, it would remain a hypothesis until she confirmed it.

John bit the tip of his tongue as he made the last stitch and knotted the end of the thread before cutting it with the scissors. He then fixed a few butterfly stitches to make sure everything would hold in place, sprayed some more disinfectant to prevent any risk of infection and finally pressed a square of gauze that he carefully attached with medical tape. John snapped his latex gloves off with a grin and tucked his glasses back in his pocket.

 

“There, all done,” he announced as he sprung to his feet. “You’ll to come back to me in a few days to see how it’s doing, but it should be fine.”

“Okay, thank you John,” she gave him a smile of gratitude and took the hand he was offering to get back on her feet.

“That must have been an impressive fall,” he chuckled lightly.

 

John didn’t know if it was his insatiable need to learn more about her or if it was because he wanted to leave her an open door in case she wanted to talk to him, but the sentence that had been burning his lips finally fell from his mouth. Maybe it shouldn’t have. He gave himself a mental slap when a blush tinted her cheeks and her eyes dropped to stare at the tip of her shoes.

 

“It was more of a bad landing, really,” she justified rather unconvincingly. “I can be clumsy sometimes, accidents happen.”

“Yes, right. So, should we go study, then?”

“If you still have enough time, yes,” she nodded as she picked up her small backpack.

“No classes today, free as the wind!”

 

As if to prove his point, he took her hand and slowly made her spin on herself, which earned him a reassuring laugh. At least she didn’t hold his churlish intervention against him. She even looped her arm around his and playfully bumped his shoulder.

Then her phone rang. Rose lifted her eyes to the ceiling when she saw it was Jimmy – probably calling to know where she was, with whom and what she was doing. She was almost tempted to put her phone back in her purse, but she knew it was a terrible idea. She had seen him angry enough for one day and she didn’t want to find out the extent of his imagination when it came to punishment. She apologized to John and he closed the door behind him to give her some privacy.

John wasn’t usually curious. This was different. He’d seen the look on her face when she had read the caller ID, he’d seen the embarrassment, the anger and the fear. If his theory was right, maybe he could learn a few things if he listened. He knew it was wrong but he couldn’t help it. What if he learned something useful? He hated to invade her privacy but if prying on a conversation gave him some information he could then use to help her, he’d do it willingly. He pricked up his ear near the interstice of the door and felt his stomach churn when he heard her voice.

 

“Yeah, and thanks for the stitches by the way,” she said – and John distinguished a heavy sigh. “No I won’t, I’m with a friend… I… Yes, he’s a man. For God’s sake what does it matter?... Of course not! Bloody hell, Jimmy, we’re in the middle of the university, I’m not going to shag him in a classroom… No, I won’t tell you his name and you won’t go near him… No, he doesn’t… Oh my God, Jimmy, go get some help with that twisted mind of yours… Look, I need to go… No, I have to work at eight and you know it, stop being a twat about it… I don’t fucking care, just drink some water for a change… Yeah, good luck with that…”

 

John stopped listening at that particular moment because he had reached enough conclusions to make up his mind about that Jimmy. A jealous, possessive, abusive and possibly alcoholic boyfriend. Well, no more wondering why Rose seemed to be hurting so much. His fists unconsciously clenched in his pockets and he tried to reign the anger boiling in his veins. More than the knowledge that Rose was probably regularly abused at home by a wanker, it was his inability to help that made the fury grow in the pit of his stomach.

He wanted, he needed to protect his friend, but there was nothing he could do. He wished he could just barge into their flat and kick his ass so hard he’d be flying to the moon. But that Jimmy must have been much stronger than him and John thought he’d be knocked unconscious before he could even touch him. He’d have to meet him, somehow. Try to decipher his behavior and react consequently. Of course, he’d have to find him first, and there remained the problem. In a city this vast, it would be a miracle to find the right Jimmy. He’d need to be clever about this.

John straightened on his feet when Rose eventually opened the door and pretended he was perfectly fine and didn’t have any murderous cravings. And he noticed that Rose was pretending much the same.

 

“So, where are we going then?” she asked with a smile.

“I prepared everything we’re going to need for this first session in the library,” he grinned, offering his arm again. “First objective is to find what we can actually work on, right?”

“Right,” she agreed. “I have to admit, I’m still a bit lost, I’m not really sure what I’d like to do.”

“Oh but that’s why I’m here, Rose Tyler! A bit of brainstorming with two brilliant minds, we should be fine, yes?”

“Well, you’re the Doctor, you tell me.”

“Oh, we’ll be fine, I promise. Perfectly fine.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John might come up with a few solutions to help Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here, I have absolutely no idea what's coming next! I guess my inspiration will be put to the test!
> 
> Also, I have to work on my research paper about Shakespeare so I'm not sure when the next chapter will be posted (although it shouldn't take more than a few days).
> 
> Huge thanks to all those who commented and left kudos on this work, it's really appreciated!
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this!

* * *

 

 

Rose had to admit, she hadn’t expected to be so much discouraged at the sight of all the books on display. Neatly piled up, they were spread over two large tables in the soundproof room he had reserved – not to bother and not to be bothered, he had explained with a wink. She set her backpack on a chair as her eyes trailed over the spines of the books. From mathematics to English, they seemed to cover all the usual stuff that was taught in high school, and she began to realize that maybe it would be tougher than she expected.

John dropped his long coat over the table and carefully put one of the cups of steaming coffee he had picked on the way to the library.

 

“So, Rose Tyler,” he started with a small clap of his hand. “Is there anything you’ve already considered studying? A job you might have in mind?”

“Hum, not really,” she shrugged helplessly. “Just something stable, with set working hours and a decent salary.”

“Indoor or outdoor?”

“Indoor, I guess. I mean, I’m fine with both, I just… Haven’t given it much thought.”

“It’s quite alright,” he smiled as he sat on the edge of the table. “I see two options here, depending on how fast you’d want to start your new job. Either you take time to pass your A-levels then go for a diploma, but we’re counting in years. Or you go for a certification that doesn’t require A-levels, and then we’re counting in months.”

“Well, given my current, hum, situation, the faster I find a new job, the better.”

 

John gave her a weak nod, not even beginning to imagine what her current situation was, although he was quite sure it had to do with a particular Jimmy. He could only try to understand her daily struggle but he could totally understand why she’d want to get a new life. He knew it mustn’t be easy to live with an abusive boyfriend and work a few hours a week in a shabby bar to try and make ends meet. It impressed him to see how much she wanted to get better, that she wasn’t just watching her life go by, moping around and dwelling on her pain until it would consume her from the inside. She was a tough one, and her strength fascinated him.

John reached for a book on the far end of the table and set it in front of her with a grin.

 

“This is just a suggestion,” he said with a confident smile.

 

Rose stared at the title of the book for a moment then looked at him with a sheepish shrug.

 

“Nothing fancy, I grant you that,” he acknowledged, slipping off the table to crouch at her level. “But this comes with a job. A well-paid job, normal schedule, five days a week, with lots of benefits.”

“What kind of benefits are you talking about?” she asked as she doubtfully sifted through the pages of the book.

“Well, working with me, for a start,” he puffed out his chest with a broad smile. “As head of the science department, I’m going to need an assistant, aren’t I? With this position, I happen to get to choose my personal assistant and I don’t mind waiting a little if that means I can hire you.”

“I’d be… Working for you?” she enquired, her eyes full of what he hoped to be joy.

“Nope, no, no,” he shook his head as he got back to his feet and leaned over her shoulder to reach for his coffee. “You’d be working _with_ me. Laurel and Hardy, Bonnie and Clyde, Mulder and Scully, we’d be the most famous duo this university has ever known! And it should be a good job. A bit of paperwork, accounting, managing my schedule, drinking coffees and eating lunches together. And there’s always the possibility that you might climb the ladder when I can recommend you for a higher position after some time. Still, this is just a suggestion, you don’t have to give me your answer right away. And there are tons of other stuff we can go through here. I just thought you might consider this offer.”

 

Rose felt her bottom lip quiver as she fought the tears she felt coming. This was crazy. How come a man she’d only known for two weeks could shine so much light on her otherwise dreary life? She couldn’t believe her luck. She’d never gotten much support from anyone, her friends and even her mum had always had a hard time approving of her choice of life – she had never dared tell them she hadn’t had much of a choice – and she had always been so lonely. Alone to face everything and to keep going, fighting her way through the darkness, through hell. And there came John, a light at the end of a tunnel she desperately wanted to reach. The only person who’d shown any sign that he truly wanted to help. She could have kissed him.

John noticed the tears slowly gathering in her honey-colored eyes and put a gentle hand on her shoulder, handing her a handkerchief he picked from his pocket.

 

“I didn’t know it would be such a terrible idea,” he chuckled uneasily – he’d never been quite good at handling crying people.

“Oh, shut it,” she laughed through couple of cries. “This idea is perfect, I just… Thank you, John. You’ve done more for me in two weeks than anyone did in eight years. Feels weird to see an almost stranger care about me, is all.”

“Oh, I’m hurt, I thought we were friends,” he grinned as he offered her the untouched cup of coffee.

“I suppose we are, yes,” she beamed at him before sipping on the hot drink. “So, what’s the plan, then?”

“Mathematics, informatics, and we’ll see where your English stands, but I know you’ll do perfectly. If we’re lucky, I’ll enroll you in the session that’s four months from now. We’ll study every test one by one and see how it goes, is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, that’s good. I just hope I won’t disappoint you.”

“Oh, you won’t, of that I’m sure,” he smiled before taking a small book of mathematic exercises. “Should we start, then?”

 

Rose happily took out her notepad and her pencil case from her small backpack, eager to start learning. She’d never liked maths, never been good at it, but with John she was more than willing to do her best. She’d pull through this, no matter how hard it proved to be. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d have to fight for something, and this time she knew it wouldn’t be for nothing.

 

* * *

 

 

John removed his chucks and hand his long coat on the rack with a heavy sigh of tiredness. More than the afternoon he had spent working with Rose was how emotionally spent he was from learning about her that made him so exhausted. She had been brilliant, more than he could have even expected, and she had proved she wasn’t doing this for the fun of it. It would have been one of the best days he’d had in years if it hadn’t been for all the feelings she had made him feel. Hurt, sorrow, anger, guilt. The simple sight of the patch of gauze over her forehead had been a constant reminder of the pain she must have been going through and he couldn’t stand it. There was so much more he wanted to do for her, so much more he wanted to say. His clever, beautiful Rose. And what scared him the most was that he’d started to consider her as _his_. It felt like he had already woven a link with her and it was terrifying. His very matter-of-fact view of the world couldn’t cope with this. In what universe could a man feel such a strong connection with another human being this fast? Certainly not his. Probably not. Maybe.

John slouched on the couch with a groan and took the bottle of beer he was offered before propping his feet on the coffee table.

 

“You’re late. You accepted the beer. You put your feet on the furniture. Now, care to tell me what this is all about?”

“Oh, not now, Jack,” John grunted as swallowed a large gulp of his beer – and winced when the gruesome taste hit his tongue.

“It’s a lady, isn’t it?” Jack grinned from ear to ear, suddenly much more interested in what his best friend had to say than in the match he’d been watching.

“No, it’s not,” he answered with a shrug. “I mean, yes. Kind of. Not really.”

“Come on, Doc, no secrets between us, you know that.”

 

John sighed again and rubbed a hand over his face. He was perfectly aware that there was nothing he could hide from his best friend, but this was personal. Very personal. This was all about something he himself shouldn’t know about. Yet, he was dying to tell him. If anyone could lend him a hand with this matter, it was Jack. With him working with the Secret Intelligence Service, John knew he could rely on his discretion. And maybe some of his particular talents could be useful should they be needed to do something for Rose. Not to invade her private life, just to protect her.

John furiously worried his bottom lip as he weighed the pros and cons. Jack nudged him in the ribs with an anticipating smile, as if he knew his friend wouldn’t resist much longer. And he was right.

 

“Okay,” John grumbled before downing what was left of his drink. “There’s this woman I met two weeks ago at this bar. Rose. Clever, funny, beautiful. But…”

“She has a boyfriend,” Jack ended the sentence with a sigh.

“Wanker,” he huffed with a dark look. “I had to stitch a cut the size of my middle finger on her forehead this afternoon. Also noticed a bruise on her stomach when her shirt lifted up.”

“Bloody hell,” Jack whispered with a shiver. “Hasn’t she called the police?”

“I don’t know, Jack. I’m not even supposed to know about this. Just overheard a phone conversation. It just kills me, because I really like her, and there’s nothing I can do. I can’t talk to her about it because I’m scared I’ll lose her trust.”

“You want me to look into this?” Jack offered, squeezing his shoulder to comfort him. “If you get me a last name, I can do some research at work.”

“I don’t think it’s wise, Jack,” John shook his head with a grimace. “She’ll know it was me. What if we do anything and it all falls down on her again? I can’t take those risks.”

“So what, you’ll just stand there, doing nothing? Come one, Doc, if you care about her you can’t just let her go through this on her own. We’ve got to find a way to help her without her knowing. Look, if you get me her or his last name, I’ll find him. I can come up with something to at least drive him away from her for a while. Custody, questioning, you name it. Pretend we need him for an investigation. I’ll leave it to someone else so neither of us are linked to it. “

“I just… I don’t know, Jack,” John shrugged, unconvinced. “Let me sleep on it tonight, I need to think through this.”

“Okay. Let me know if you need anything, John,” he said with a rare look of compassion John wasn’t used to see on his face.

 

John rose from the couch with heavy movements caused by the lead of exhaustion running through his limbs and disappeared into his bedroom. He knew Jack was right and that he should do anything to help Rose. What he feared was that she didn’t want to be helped and that should he help, he’d be the one who would have to face the consequences. And he didn’t want to lose her. _His_ Rose.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose doesn't have a choice and John is ready to set a plan in motion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I really should be working, but inspiration struck while I was writing my research paper and I had to type this down (I guess Macbeth and House of Cards are a great source of inspiration).
> 
> And I know what to write in the next chapter - more or less - so it should be posted within a few days (because I still have to work, very frustrating).
> 
> I hope you'll like this one, and thanks to all the readers again!

* * *

 

 

Rose let a heavy breath through her nose as she repeatedly tapped her pencil on her notebook. She’d been struggling to solve an equation for far too long to her liking, even though she knew the music and the hubbub didn’t help her focus much. She’d brought her things at work and studied whenever she got the chance, thinking it would always be better in that bar than at home where Jimmy wouldn’t miss a chance to bury his nose in matters she didn’t want him to know about. Thankfully, it was the middle of the week and a slow night, so she only had to switch from one task to the other every half hour or so.

A frustrated groan escaped her lips again, which earned her a friendly sneer from Louisa whom had decided mathematics definitely weren’t her thing.

 

“Don’t make fun of me,” Rose huffed as she sifted through the pages to find the solution to the equation. “I haven’t done stuff like this in years, I’m trying, okay?”

“I haven’t said anything,” Louisa smiled. “I’d help if I could, but I don’t think two suckers at maths are better than one.”

 

Rose shrugged and leaned over the book again, cradling her cheeks into her palms. That particular subject was bound to be the most challenging, she thought as her eyes trailed over the correct answer to the equation – ten lines of numbers and letters that barely made sense in her preoccupied mind. She sure hoped John might be able to give her some tips on how to solve this kind of stuff more easily. She perfectly understood the rules and the logic behind the resolution, but somehow she was quite unable to put them into practice. It was rather depressing to know she couldn’t solve something kids in high-school could do with their eyes closed – and how much shame she’d feel when she’d have to admit to John, a bloody Doctor in mathematics, that she couldn’t do it. Maybe he’d take back everything he’d said about her being clever and give up on her when he’d realize she was just a dummy with absolutely no chance of passing the exam for the qualification. She’d have gladly banged her head against the counter in a desperate attempt to spur some of her brain cells to work something out, but the stiches pulling on her gashed skin reminded her this wouldn’t be a good idea.

Rose’s eyes shot up to the double door when she heard it opened, and the first thing she felt was disappointment. Ever since she’d seen John walk through that door, she always hoped to see his mass of tousled hair and his cheeky smile that came with a wiggle of his fingers. But it wasn’t him. And her disappointment melted into a wave of worry when she realized it actually was the man she desperately wanted to avoid. No way she could mistake him for John. She tensed when he strode towards her and readied herself to face him and a probable fit of anger.

Jimmy sat on a stool before her and she noticed with a raised eyebrow of surprise that his eyes looked clear and that he didn’t reek of alcohol. Well, that was an improvement. Maybe for once they’d be able to talk like normal people. He crossed his hands on the counter and worried his lower lip as he peered around the bar, as if looking for something or someone. When he seemed reassured that no one was watching him, he leaned towards her and cleared his throat.

 

“How’s your head?” Jimmy asked as he carefully brushed a thumb over her cheekbone.

 

Rose gaped at him in shock and shuffled away from his touch. This must have been the first time in years he’d shown any sign of still caring about her, even a little. This was way too weird and suspicion made her eyes quint ever so slightly.

 

“You mean, apart from the stitches and the golf ball that grew on my forehead?” she asked in a mocking tone, surreptitiously hiding her book and notepad under the counter before he could notice them. “Fine, thanks.”

“Look, I…”

 

He took a deep breath and pinched his lips as Rose waited for him to say something that would sound like a well-deserved apology. He looked at her, a shadow clouding his irises, and Rose realized no apology would come.

 

“Why can’t you just stop trying my patience, hey?” he blurted out, spasms agitating his arms. “Why can’t you never do as I tell you?”

“I’m not your toy and I do whatever the hell I want,” she hissed between her teeth – and she mentally slapped herself for having believed even for a second that he could want to apologize.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Rose,” he said in whisper. “I really don’t. But you need to learn. You are mine and I’ll do whatever it takes to make you understand that.”

“Like what, bash my head into the wall and eventually kill me? You’re completely bonkers, Jimmy. I’m not a thing that bends to your desires. I won’t give in to your threats. One day I’ll be gone and I won’t regret a single moment of this life.”

 

Rose saw the flash of anger twist his features and she was scared she’d pushed his buttons too hard. They stared at each other for a single minute that seemed to last for eternity until he released a long, controlled breath and gave her a heinous smile.

 

“You’re lucky he’s not here tonight, you know,” he grinned, leaning back on his stool. “Oh don’t give me that look, sweetheart. I know you’ve been seeing him for some time now. John, is it?”

“You… You’ve searched my phone?” Rose stated more than asked, her face turning ghost pale.

“I hope he’s been fucking you real good, Rose, because if I ever find him, I swear to God his cock will be nothing more than a sweet memory.”

“He’s just my friend,” she breathed out in fear. “For Heaven’s sake Jimmy, I know better than seeing someone behind your back.”

“Then why did you leave work almost three hours earlier than you were supposed to two weeks ago? What the hell did you do yesterday at the university, hm? Attend one of his, like, _special course_? Pretend to be a clever girl to indulge in one of his dirty kink?”

“No, Jimmy, I didn’t…”

“You do realize I didn’t come home yesterday because I _actually_ might have bashed your head into the wall, right? That I stayed at my brother’s to sober up and try to be calm about his. But here you are, trying my patience again. So I’m gonna have to punish you. Again. Oh I don’t like it either, Rose, but if that’s what it takes to knock some sense into that empty brain of yours then so be it. Pack your things, we’re going.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” she seethed, her jaw clenched so tight she felt her teeth grind.

 

He gave her an almost sad laugh and reached inside his pocket to take out his phone. He dialed a number and showed her the screen with a sadistic grin, his thumb hovering over the call button.

 

“I’m afraid I have one Jackie Tyler who’d want you to come with me,” he said, voice dripping with over-confidence and derision. “One call is all it takes, Rose. It’s been a while since my brother had fun, I’m sure your mum will enjoy it too.”

 

Rose felt her blood froze in her veins and a heave made her insides churn and twist unpleasantly. It wasn’t the first time Jimmy would have used such a stratagem to make her comply with his orders, but it certainly was the first he seemed so willing to execute the threat. He was perfectly aware her mother was her only weakness and the only thing that could make her bend to his will. If it weren’t for her mother, she’d be long gone from his life. Maybe her relationship with her mum hadn’t been at its best for a few years but it didn’t matter. She was the only person dear to her heart she had left on this miserable planet and she’d be damned if she didn’t do everything she could to protect her. She’d seen how violent and terrifying Jimmy could be, and his brother was worse. There was no way she’d let any of those two near her mother, even if that meant suffering on her own end.

Rose loosened the knot of her apron and dropped it on the counter, throwing him the darkest of looks she could muster. If she was compelled to submit to his order, she wouldn’t sweep whatever was left of her pride and dignity under the carpet.

 

“You’re a psycho, Jimmy,” she whispered as she unsuccessfully tried to reign the anger boiling in the pit of her stomach.

 

She disappeared in her dressing room for a moment and seriously considered fleeing through the back door, but she knew it would be more dangerous than anything else. She didn’t even warn her boss she was leaving and simply waved a quick goodbye to Louisa who was frowning and lifted her hands as if to ask what the hell she was thinking. Rose simply shook her head and complied when Jimmy grasped her wrist and dragged her outside. His fingers felt cold around her bare skin and his hold on her was so tight she was sure her blood would stop irrigating her hand in a matter of minutes.

 

“Let go of me now,” she growled curtly.

“Who told you to open your fucking mouth?” was his only answer and he even clenched tighter at the base of her thumb, which left no doubt that he’d break it  if she complained again.

“You want me to scream in the middle of the street? There are people there, I can…”

 

She wailed in pain when he pressed harder on her bone and a loud crack echoed, leaving no doubt that it had broken, or at least been dislocated. She stumbled when he shoved her harshly in a perpendicular alleyway that was only dimly lit by a lamppost and she shrieked when he pushed her against the wall, a large palm over her mouth. Her eyes searched for something, someone that could help her but they were alone. She began to hyperventilate as he forced a piece of clothing inside her mouth and she struggled to breathe through her nose, his forearm  pressing insistently against her throat and bringing tears in her desperate eyes.

 

“We could have done this at home, Rosie,” he grunted as he kicked her legs apart, the few layers of clothes she was wearing not enough to shield her from the raw bricks digging into her back. “If only you could shut that fucking mouth of yours. I’ll show you what it means to be mine.”

 

* * *

 

  

John stopped in front of the bar he now knew well enough and motioned for Jack to follow him inside. He’d managed to convince his friend to meet Rose, to introduce himself so he could try to learn a thing or two about Jimmy and put their plan into motion. They had come up with something that should work without putting his girl at risk – basically, and according to Jack’s very personal expression, make Jimmy shit his pants with one or two well-placed threats that would keep him from doing Rose any harm any longer. It was the kind of plan John had never fancied much, always preferring a more pacific approach. But with a man like that, signing a peace treaty would never work. That was why john was glad to count Jack in his ranks – a gentle heart, but a mass of muscles and deadly stare that could probably compete with Jimmy’s. And Jack was a secret service agent. He shouldn’t have any trouble putting a wanker like this on a leash.

They both entered the bar and were greeted by an almost empty place, a soft rock music playing in the background. John immediately aimed his look behind the counter, but there was no Rose in sight yet. He slowly walked to the counter and noticed the other waitress mumbling under her breath, cleaning a few glasses. He cleared his throat and leaned towards her to get her attention.

 

“Excuse-me, hum, is Rose working tonight?” he asked – and she lifted eyes full of anger to look at him.

“She was,” she said with a shrug. “Left ten minutes ago with that weird bloke. She didn’t even tell the boss, now guess who the boss’s angry at? Yay, me!”

“A weird bloke, you say?” John pressed, the first flames of worry igniting next to his heart.

“Yeah, I think it’s her boyfriend or something? He’s often around and they leave together sometimes. Usually not in the middle of her bloody shift, mind. Whatever. If you see her, tell her she’s fired. And give her those, she left them behind.”

 

John nodded slowly and took the book and notepad he was handed.

 

“Something’s not right,” he muttered under his breath, repeating his sentence when Jack raised a questioning eyebrow at him. “This isn’t like her. She wouldn’t just leave in the middle of her shift. And even if she did, she wouldn’t leave her stuff behind.”

“Let’s go outside and try to call her, hey?” Jack offered, placing a friendly hand on his shoulder.

 

John agreed with a curt sign of the hand and they found themselves on the sidewalk coated with a thin layer of rain. He quickly grabbed his phone and dialed her number, but there was no answer. He tried a second time and Jack tugged on his sleeve to get his attention.

 

“Doc, look,” he managed to say after a particularly hard gulp of air.

 

John followed the direction Jack was pointing at with his finger and his heart missed a few beats, the sound of blood pumping in his ear and his throat turning so dry he could barely breathe. At the corner of an alleyway, not far from where he was, there was a small square of light moving on the floor. As if it were a phone vibrating. The phone he was trying to reach. The book and the notepad fell on the sidewalk before he could even realize he had dropped them, and the both of them burst into a sprint that made the wind wheeze in their ears and their shoes squish loudly on the damp pavement. With the low adherence of his chucks, John almost arrived too fast and slid on the hard concrete, but thankfully Jack was fast enough to grab him by the collar of his coat to balance him on his feet.

John bent without a second thought to pick the phone up and dialed the number again to make sure it was the right one – or, better, the wrong one. The foreign phone started vibrating again in his palm and his heart freefell in his chest. Then his eyes landed on what seemed to be a tube of lipstick. Keys. A tiny wallet. A tiny notepad. And all of these led to a purse he knew all too-well. And then he heard the noises. Faint, but he heard them. Muffled moans. Sniffs. Grunts.

John’s head shot up to look at the dark part of the alleyway and realized Jack had been faster than he’d been. His friend was already running to the source of the noises while he could only watch in dread at what was happening. And then the dread disappeared when something snapped inside him. The anger that had been building slowly in his stomach, simmering at low heat, suddenly exploded in pulses of liquid fire in his veins. Rose needed protection, and that was the only thing he needed to know to rush behind Jack with a scream of rage.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit late, I'm so sorry, but I had to work on my research paper, and no one cares, so yeah, sorry.
> 
> I don't really know where to go from here, my inspiration is a bit shy these days, but I'll do my best to post another chapter within a week.
> 
> I hope you'll like it, thanks a lot for the kudos and the comments!

Rose had never felt more scared than she was at this moment. She was used to Jimmy being violent in more than one way with her and the routine they had fallen into didn’t make it any easier. The shame, the anger, the sorrow. They never went away. But never had fear cascaded over her shoulders with so much force it made her feel weak in the knees and brought tears to her eyes. She wished she was strong enough to fight him off, but no matter how hard she tried to struggle, how deep her nails dug into his neck, how loud her mouth filled with this disgusting rag allowed her to scream, nothing worked.

Jimmy kept her stuck against the wall, his forearm pressing tightly against the column of her throat while his other hand fumbled with her belt and tugged on her jeans and underwear until they were bunched low enough on her thighs. Rose, unable to raise her voice, shook her head forcefully with terrified eyes when he did the same with his own trousers. He simply grabbed her jaw with a scowl and hit her head twice against the wall. More tears rolled down her cheeks as white hot pain seared in the back of her head and she felt a heavy liquid trickled down to the base of her neck.

 

“Shut up,” he ordered in a growl as he spread her legs further with a knee.

 

Rose bit her tongue to keep her sobs for herself, unwilling to give him a reason to hurt her even more. A simple wail got trapped in her throat as he lifted one of her thigh and he thrust forward. She wasn’t ready for this and her body protested vehemently. Painful was quite a pitiful word to describe how she felt. Her broken thumb, the gash at the back of her head, her hands scratching the hard concrete wall behind her in a desperate attempt to get away, her short breath burning its way out of her constricted throat. The way he pounded into her, relentless.

She didn’t know why, but the only reassuring thought she could muster translated into a single name. John. The only beacon in the darkness to guide her steps away from the pit of desperation she was bound to tumble into. She wished he could save her, because no matter how hard she tried to save herself, she couldn’t do it on her own.

It happened so suddenly. She heard Jimmy gasp and the weight of his body disappear. The unexpected lack of pressure against her frame and all traces of strength gone from her limbs, she slid against the wall as she forced her tear-filled eyes open. Two indistinct shapes seemed to be fighting. One of them must have been Jimmy but the other one was foreign. A tall man, muscular, that propelled his fist into Jimmy’s face and sent him crashing down on the concrete. Maybe this was her cue to leave? In her current position, Rose couldn’t be sure of anything. She was hurt, she was lost, she was weak. Was there anyone she could really trust anymore?

Just as she was about to scramble to her knees and take her leave before anyone could notice her, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Another jolt of fear coursed through her until she recognized him. John.

 

“It’s okay, Rose,” he quickly whispered to her. “We’re here, you’re safe.”

 

He carefully took out the gag from her mouth and wrapped his long coat around her shoulders, making sure it covered her lower body. It broke his heart to see her like this. Trails of fresh tears on her cheeks, disheveled, cracks at the corner of her lips, partially naked. The fingertips raw, some of them covered in blood, just like the back of her head. The wave of disgust and anger that rose in his stomach made it hard for him not to ask Jack to torture that bastard a bit longer. But for now, his only concern was Rose. He helped her to her feet and he had to slip an arm around her waist to keep her from falling. What scared him the most was that she wasn’t talking to him. Not even looking at him. She simply pulled up her garments and awkwardly stood there, staring at nothing but the tip of her shoes.

 

“Rose, do you need to go to the hospital?” John asked, gently running a clean handkerchief on her cheeks.

 

Rose shook her head and unconsciously shuffled closer to him with a pleading look. Her conflicting emotions – oscillating between the shame that John had to witness this and the relief of his presence – made it hard to think, but the hospital was something she was sure she didn’t want. John rubbed a comforting hand on her shoulder and nodded.

 

“I’ll just take you to my place, is that okay?”

 

Rose bowed her head a little and John took that small gesture as a sign of agreement.

 

“Jack, can you handle this on your own?” John asked his friend whom had already tightened a pair of handcuffs on Jimmy’s wrists.

“Sure, Doc,” he said as he gripped the said man collar to bring him back to his feet. “I’ll meet you back home when I’m done with him.”

 

From there, Rose felt like her body had went on autopilot mode. She just felt tired. Everything John was talking to her about made no sense to her ears, everything she saw looked like faded pictures. She felt nothing. Even the shame had gone. A bit of pain remained but her brain didn’t register it as such. Pain was a foreign concept she found impossible to put into words. She simply trusted her feet to take her where John was leading her to. It wasn’t long – maybe it was, she couldn’t be sure - before they reached a door that John was quick to unlock to let her in.

In any other circumstances, Rose would probably have teased him about how clean the flat looked for a man, but right now she was just glad it was. A simple flat, nothing fancy, common furniture, but it was still refreshing to be somewhere so different from her own flat. It was nice and warm, and that was all that mattered to her. Just a bit of comfort.

John ruffled his hair as he tried to think about what to do. It wasn’t like he had a single clue of what she could be feeling. It wasn’t like he’d had to deal with this kind of situation before. He just wanted to cuddle with her on the couch and mend her wounds with all the care and the love she deserved, but he doubted she’d want a man near her anytime soon. He cleared his throat and motioned for her to follow him.

 

“You can have a shower, if you want,” he suggested as he led her into the bathroom. “I’ll get you some clothes, and then I’ll take a quick look at your head, yes?”

 

Rose nodded shyly and he disappeared for a minute before he came back with pajama pants, boxer briefs and a sweater that was twice her size. He put them down by the sink and shrugged apologetically.

 

“I’m sorry, we don’t have any women’s clothes here,” he said with a tentative smile.

“It’s fine,” she simply answered with a hoarse voice. “Thanks.”

“Right. I’ll let you, hum, do your stuff. Just call me if there’s anything you need.”

 

Rose waited for the door to close behind her and quickly took off all of her clothes that she threw in a corner of the room. She felt dirty. So dirty. Like Jimmy had left stigmata that would mark her skin for life. She could still feel his hands on her, his mouth, all the parts of his body she wished had never touched her. But they had, and now she’d never be the same again. _Raped_. The word felt weird. She knew that was what had happened, but somehow she couldn’t wrap her mind around the meaning. She was supposed to feel angry, sad, disgusted, ashamed. She didn’t feel any of that. She just felt empty. As if her very soul had been stolen from her. A broken, empty, dirty body. She couldn’t even cry. Maybe it was because it had happened so many times that she couldn’t quite realize how wrong it was. She knew it was. But it had stopped affecting her a long time ago. These events were just like fault notes in the sad melody that was her life. They happened, but the song kept playing, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She had to keep listening.

Rose stepped under the spray of hot water and let it cascade on her shoulders with a small sigh of relief. For a few seconds, the swirl of water at her feet was tainted with red and it reminded her of the cut at the back of her head, the nails she had scraped too much on the concrete wall. It didn’t hurt, and she was beyond caring anyway. She simply scrubbed her skin for long minutes, using a shower gel that smelled much like John’s neck when they had hugged on several occasions. It even brought a small smile to her lips, to breathe in this familiar scent. It was reassuring.

She let the water run for much longer than necessary, but the way it burnt and reddened her skin made her feel better, as if it could wash away Jimmy’s filth. It was only when she heard a soft knock on the door that she turned the water off and dried herself. She quickly dressed herself with the too-large clothes – although the boxers were rather comfortable because they prevented friction against her sore area. She opened the door and there John was, hair even more ruffled than usual and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He seemed to be lost for words for a moment but eventually took a step towards her.

 

“Mind if I take a look at your head?” he asked softly, his hands hanging awkwardly in the air.

“Go on,” she nodded as she turned on her feet to give him access.

 

Rose’s breath itched when his fingers carefully parted her hair. It wasn’t because she feared his touch. It was because she loved it. And the shame came back full force with the knowledge that he’d seen exactly what she didn’t want him to see. She was just a broken woman. She wasn’t worth anything anymore, especially not worth his sympathy and his care. Her fingers fiddled with the long sleeves of the sweater and she prayed he would leave her alone when he was done.

 

“It’s nothing serious,” he announced with a shy smile in his voice. “Just some disinfectant and it’ll be fine, okay?”

 

Rose mouthed a small _okay_ but no sound left her mouth. She patiently waited as he went to fetch a small bottle in the cupboard above the skin and sprayed some lotion on the tiny cuts. She jumped when he reached for her hand and he quickly withdrew his own with a soft apology.

 

“I, hum, made some tea, if you want,” he offered, cocking his head on the side to try and get a better look at her face. “Or you can go to bed, if you want to rest.”

“Bed, yes,” she whispered, bowing her head to avoid his eyes.

“Right. This way.”

 

John rubbed a hand over his face as he led her into his small bedroom. He wished he knew what to say. He wanted nothing more but reassure her, let her know it was going to be alright, that it was all over. But how to put that into words? His usual gob was gone and his brilliant brain couldn’t come up with anything convincing. He should be there for her, offer whatever support she needed and here he was, offering bloody tea and an uncomfortable bed. What kind of friend was he? Of course she’d close herself off and want to stay away from him. He barely contained a groan of self-reproach and flicked the light on in his room.

 

“So, hum, just take whatever space you need, I’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight,” he said, taking a step on the side to offer her access to the bed. “Call me if you need anything, okay?”

 

Rose nodded and was quick to snuggle under the covers of the bed, making sure to face the wall and not him. She heard his sigh and it broke her heart to know she wasn’t in any way responding to his efforts. She simply couldn’t, knowing what he must have been thinking about her. What he was offering was already too much and she blamed herself for shoving all of her troubles in his face. What she wanted from him in that moment – a hug, a long talk, maybe some company until she fell asleep – she knew he couldn’t give. Not when he’d seen her at her lowest and would probably not see her any differently from now on. Rose Tyler, the woman who got raped by her boyfriend. She hated herself. She just hoped he didn’t.

 

“John,” she whispered softly in her pillow, not even sure he had heard her. “What do you think of me now?”

 

She bit her lip forcefully when the words fell from her mouth, but she needed to be sure. No answer came. He didn’t want to answer. Because she repulsed him. He found her disgusting. Tears rolled down her nose and she gathered more of the heavy cover to snuggle deeper into it. She wanted to drown in it. Suddenly, the mattress dipped behind her back and she felt a light pressure on her shoulder. A shaky breath reached her ears and as much as she longed to hear his reassuring voice, she also feared what he would say. The wait was excruciating and it lasted for an eternity.

 

“Rose,” he eventually said in a soft whisper. “I think no less of you than I did when I first met you. What happened… It wasn’t your fault. Don’t let it be the thing that defines you. You’re still brilliant, strong and beautiful. Nothing and no one can ever change that. I can’t know how hard it is for you right now, but I trust you. You’ll make it through. And I’ll be here all the way if you want me to.”

“I just… Don’t want to be a burden.”

“You’ll never be a burden to me, Rose. Don’t ever think that. I’ll do my best to help, but you have to accept my help, okay? Whatever you need, whatever you want, you just ask. I’m never letting you down.”

“So…” she started, slowly uncovering her face. “Do you think we could, hum, talk? Like, I need to tell you… Stuff. Get it out, you know?”

 

John gave a small smile and planted a soft kiss on her temple, light enough not to thwart her.

 

“Let me get this tea,” he said with a squeeze on her shoulder. “Then we can talk all you want. I’ll be back in a tic.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John tends to Rose's wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long delay, but I've been working so hard I didn't get much time to write for the past few weeks!
> 
> My research paper will be handed over to the jury in three to four weeks, so i can't promise any update before the beginning of May (at best).  
> But I still have ideas and this story will be completed, so bear with me!
> 
> I hope you'll like this chapter, enjoy your reading!

John carefully handed Rose a steaming cup of tea but she shook her head lightly as she pushed herself in sitting position against the headboard. She lowered her eyes and nibbled her lower lip, freeing her hand from the cover. She had forgotten about it, mostly because this particular pain couldn’t compare to all the others, both physical and psychological. It was only when she strained her hand to reach for her tea that her bone scorched in protest and a wince threatened to distort her soft features. The look on John’s face was a cruel reminder of everything she was putting him through, of how much she wished they could have met in different circumstances. But she couldn't hide that from him. Not when the smallest of movements caused her finger to pulse with pain.

  


“I think,” she started, voice barely above a whisper. “I think my thumb is broken.”

  


John’s brow knit tightly together with concern as he put the cup on the bedside table and sat next to her. He held out his hand and after a short moment of hesitation, she placed her palm over his. The base of her finger was coloured by an angry violet hue that spread up to her wrist and its shape looked anything but normal. John barely managed to swallow a growl of rage, still quite unable to believe anyone would ever dare hurt such a beautiful person, and he examined the wound. He sighed loudly in the heavy silence of the room and with a delicate, almost reverent gesture he set her hand back on a cushion.

  


“It’s not broken, it’s dislocated,” he announced lowly, his lips thinning because of his anger. “I can pop it back into place, or you can wait until tomorrow and I’ll take you to the hospital.”

  


The simple word _hospital_ made Rose shiver and a grimace vanished just as soon as it appeared on her face. She wasn't ready to give an explanation to anyone but John. Maybe she'd never be. She didn't want to have anything to do with doctors, police officers or counselling services. She just wanted John, his warmth, his touch, his reassuring presence. She would only take his help because he was the only one she trusted.

  


"I'd rather you do it," she said shyly, fiddling with the hem of the sheet with her uninjured hand. "If you don't mind. Please."

  


John nodded with the tiniest of smile and disappeared from the room, only to reappear moments later with a splint and a tube of cream. He carefully took her hand and wrapped his fingers around her thumb, being as delicate as could be. He knew this would hurt – popping a bone back into place was excruciatingly painful without any form of anaesthesia – and he dreaded to see her in any more pain than she already was. It was a necessary evil, though, because he knew that the more he waited, the more risks she'd have to develop further complications.

  


"You might want to stop biting your lip and hold on to something," John advised when he noticed she was furiously nibbling her lower lip. "And I need to know what you ate for lunch last Thursday."

  


Rose frowned at his unexpected question, but she still rummaged through the many drawers in her brain to pick out that piece of information.

  


"I'm going to need a minute," she apologized softly, unconsciously tapping her fingers on his thigh. "I think it might have been... No, that was on Friday. Hum, that's not the kind of stuff you remember easily, is it?"

  


John let her ramble for a moment more, letting the easy distraction drive her away from the task at hand. He hoped it would help her relax a little and make it less painful – even by a few degrees – and most of all assure that everything would go smoothly. When he was sure she had completely forgotten about what he was about to do, he quickly pulled on her thumb and was rewarded by both a satisfying pop and a shout that must have woken up half the building. And a set of nails that dug into his leg and made him glad he was wearing pants made of a thick cotton.

  


"Bloody hell, that hurts like a bitch," Rose cursed loudly, face contorted into a grimace of pain.

"I'm so sorry, Rose," John apologized softly, reaching for the tube of cream. "It'll fade rather quickly, if that's any consolation."

  


He squeezed some of the white cream over the angry blue hues at the base of her thumb and rubbed tiny, careful circles over the wound. Rose was thankful for the cold of the ointment that somewhat relieved some of the pain, but the whole area still burnt more than if she had stuck her hand into a roaring brazier. Her blood pulsed wildly in her wrist and sore finger and she was quite convinced her hand would fall off should she so much as bend her pinky. She watched as John gently slipped her hand into the splint and tightened it around her wrist with a set of black straps.

  


"There, all done," he smiled rather unconvincingly. "You'll need to leave that on for some time, but it should heal nicely."

"Thank you, John," she offered with a light squeeze on his thigh. “For taking care of me. Remember when you said I was you lucky angel? Well, I think you might be mine.”

  


Rose shivered deep down to her core when he pressed his lips against her knuckles and they lingered there for much longer than strictly necessary. They felt warm and soft, and it terrified her to realize she was actually enjoying it. She’d heard hundreds of stories about women who were raped and couldn’t let themselves be touched by any man for months, even years. And here she was, heart warming up at a chaste contact from John’s lips, waves of comforting heat coursing through her limbs and every cause to worry washed away from the shore of her thoughts. John was here, in all his glorious kindness and affection, and it was all that mattered. Maybe it was delusional, but she thought being delusional was better than anything she had been feeling for the past seven years.

John smiled softly against her skin and looked up to gaze at her eyes shining with unshed tears.

  


“Anything for you, Rose,” he whispered before he released her hand and plopped down on the bed beside her, tea forgotten on the bedside table. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore all over. Hurt. Angry. Dirty. Shameful. Tired,” she enumerated, looking down at her hands resting one over another in her lap.

  


At that, she felt his long, wiry arm wrap around her shoulder and draw her close to him. Her head came to rest against his chest and her fingers decided to clench his shirt against her will. His other arm rolled around her waist and she felt the comfortable weight of his head as his chin settled on the top of her own.

  


“There’s nothing to be ashamed of here, Rose,” he assured her, fingers running up and down her arm in a reassuring motion. “As for the rest, everything will heal in due time, and I promise I’ll be here to help. I care about you, Rose Tyler. More than you can imagine. Nothing and no one can change that.”

“What did I do to deserve you, John?” she mumbled against his shirt, shifting to melt even deeper against his chest. “I’m worth nothing any more.”

  


John kept his defeated sigh for himself and gently rocked her in his arms when he heard her sniff and saw her rub her eyes. He’d never been good with handling crying people. His gob was prodigious when it came to science, to astronomy and a great many other things, but it also happened to be catastrophic under such circumstances. He could have written an entire paper on all the reasons why she wasn’t worth nothing, just to prove her wrong. But it appeared that spilling thoughts and feelings on paper was much easier than putting his mouth to work. If he couldn’t talk about his feelings, he’d have to find a way around the problem. And then an idea popped free in the back of his mind.

  


“You know what else is worthless, Rose?” he started, rolling a strand of blond hair around his index. “Carbon. Costs nothing. You could say its dull, so very common you don’t even recognize it when you see some. Pencil leads, coal… No one cares about them. But did you know carbon is also what makes the purest of diamonds? Every atom of carbon can potentially be shaped into diamonds. Imagine then, what would carbon be worth if anyone could shape it into a precious mineral?”

“I fail to see where this is going,” Rose said softly with a small shrug.

“You hold all the qualities required to turn into the most precious woman, Rose,” he explained, rather unsure of where he was going with this himself. “It’s just… Don’t let how you are feeling right now define who you’re going to be in the future. You could shine so bright, Rose. Maybe you don’t realize that you are already worth more than anything this Earth could ever carry yet. You just need to be who you ought to be, and every little piece of you will click into place. You could turn into the rarest of jewels if you show the world how beautiful you are, inside and out.”

“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” she whispered, clinging tighter to his shirt.

“I do mean it. You’re beautiful, Rose. And maybe I shouldn’t say this, but... You’re precious to me. There’s something about you, but I can’t quite put it into words. But I see you. And you’re worth more than any diamond on this planet. So please, I’m begging you, stop stooping so low and raise yourself up. Get better and show the bloody wanker he never deserved a single inch of you.”

“Okay.”

  


She knew her answer was too short for everything he’d told her, but the ball rising in her throat prevented any more sound from leaving her mouth. Tears were already threatening to pour out her eyes and she didn’t want to look more miserable than she probably already was. She was just grateful he was here. That man, that beautiful and brilliant mind. Meeting him might have been the luckiest and happiest thing that had ever happened in her otherwise horrible life. She almost protested when he shifted behind her and released his hold on her, but could she complain? He’d already done so much for her, she wasn’t in the right position to make any further request.

  


“You should get some sleep, Rose,” he said softly. “You must be exhausted. We’ll talk about all this in the morning, okay?”

“Please stay,” she couldn’t help but ask, ashamed to hear the tinge of desperation in her own voice.

  


John gave her a small yet warm smile and laid down on the bed, throwing a cover over the both of them as Rose snuggled against his side, head pillowed on his shoulder. She thanked him with a quick kiss on his jaw and John was glad she couldn’t see the blush that spread over his cheeks – this definitely wasn’t the moment to let his feelings for her get in the way. He was just happy she trusted him, and for now that was enough. His lips landed in a light butterfly kiss on her forehead that earned him a small noise of contentment and fingers curling tighter on his now rumpled shirt. In a matter of minutes, she was fast asleep.

John had never believed in all the romantic things that happened in films or books, especially not this particular position. What could be comfortable about a woman sprawled over him and having an arm stuck under her that would feel nothing but dead in the morning? He’d never had any means of comparison before – not like he’d dated lots of women. But now that Rose was there in his arms, he understood. It did feel good, knowing she felt safe with him here, that he was her only shield against the world as she slept the night away. He felt like he’d been awarded the honorific duty of protecting her, task he was willing to accomplish with a bit too much childish pride. Maybe the films were right. It _was_ romantic. Or maybe he just wanted it to be.

He was drawn away from his reverie with a light knock on the door. Jack was standing there, a small suitcase in one hand, and John put a finger across his lips to let him know Rose was sleeping. Jack took three long, discreet strides and bent towards his friend.

  


“He’s taken care of,” he told him in a low whisper. “At least six years in jail, and she doesn’t need to go to court. Her mother is safe too.”

“Good, that’s… Good. Thanks, Jack.”

“Just making sure the only girl you like is safe. I went by her place and got her some change for a few days, in case she wants to stay here for a while. Goodnight, Doc.”

“Goodnight, Jack. Thanks again.”

  


Jack left without making a sound and closed the door, leaving John with a warm Rose curled up against his side. He managed to fend off his exhaustion for a couple of hours, just to make sure nothing would disturb her sleep, but he eventually closed his eyes and drifted off to a dreamless sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stayed up all night to write this, but here is a new chapter!
> 
> I plan on writing two more (for now, I'll see where this goes, but 2 seems like the best option)!  
> This time, I really don't know when the next chapter will be posted and I'd rather not make any promise I can't keep, but it shouldn't take more than 3 weeks!
> 
> I hope you'll like it, and thanks a lot for all the kudos and comments people, you're the best!

* * *

 

 

She felt warm. Like she was wrapped up in a comfortable cocoon made of a material thicker than wool and yet softer than silk. Her mind was still hovering over the thin frontier between sleep and awareness and it felt fantastic. All her senses were a little fuzzy and only bits and pieces of information were processed in the fog of her mind, much like rays of light tearing clouds apart when the rain decided to stop crying over the city. What struck her the most was the smell. While she was used to awaken surrounded by an air full of cigarette smoke and heavy with vapours of all sorts of liquor, this time was different. It smelled nice. Cologne, or some kind of perfume that tickled her nostrils, along with the less glamorous fragrance of a zest of sweat – that still wasn’t enough to cover up the very distinct smell of him. John’s smell.

  


Her breath grew shallower as she slowly pried her eyes open and fully came back the real world as peaceful sleep gave way to a wild train of thoughts that recounted all the events that had led her in this particular position. The more she remembered, the more it reminded her of how sore she was. The strain in each and every muscle, the rather disagreeable sensation that her thumb had been ripped from her hand and only remained attached to the rest of her body with a string of flesh, the blood vessels in her brain pulsing wildly against her skull that caused a headache like she’d never experienced before. She could also add how her very soul felt like it’d been trampled by an angry bull and how broken her very own being was. So much pain. So much hurt. And yet she smiled. Because for the first time in years, she wasn’t waking up to an empty bed or a sight that made her want to run away.

  


Seeing John like that filled her with a joy and an almost irrepressible need to laugh. He looked so _him_. He was still fast asleep, his dark long lashes that pointed to his flat cheekbones peppered with cute freckles. The movements under his eyelids made it clear that even in his sleep, his brain was still busy, probably swarming with clever little thoughts and dreams. His glasses were all askew and had dropped down to the middle of his slightly crooked nose – that somehow fitted perfectly with the rest of his rather asymmetrical face. His lips were barely parted but still let a soft snore escape from time to time, the low rumble in his throat making his Adam apple quiver slightly. He looked beautiful. But more than that, it was the way his long arms were wrapped around her frame and how his fingers pressed into her back and hip that made tiny butterflies flap their wings merrily in the pit of her stomach. It all felt so right. It dawned on her that this was exactly what she had always longed for. That kind of simple thing that made life worth living.

  


Oh, that was a dangerous path she was treading and she knew it. She wasn’t supposed to feel like this towards him so soon. Yes, he was cute, and funny, and too kind for his own good, but wasn’t it the worst moment to truly fall in love? She was convinced she’d never find anyone else like him, just as she was sure he could have someone so much better than she was. She wouldn’t add this weight on his shoulders, he’d already done more that she could have hoped for. His friendship was more than enough, and she would cherish it for as long as it would last.

  


Rose watched with a smile in the corner of her mouth as John suddenly turned on his back and stretched, his torso deliciously rose from the mattress, the buttons of his shirt ready to either pop free or burst and fly across the room. He plopped back on the bed, his slender fingers crawling up her back to bring her closer to him. Rose couldn’t tell if he was awake yet and she simply went with it. It wouldn’t hurt to use him as a pillow some more, while she still had the chance – because his wiry figure did a pretty good job of hiding the muscles hiding under that shirt, and damn, was he comfortable. His low hum of contentment echoed through her entire body as he pressed his lips against the top of her head and tangled his fingers into her wild strands of blond hair.

  


“Slept well, love?” his voice still hoarse with the heavy veil of sleep broke the silence.

  


Rose’s breath itched in her throat and her heart missed a beat – or maybe two or three, she couldn’t be sure. Had she heard this right? Had John really used _that_ term of endearment? Now, that was scary. And it made her realize just how _not_ ready she was to get involved in another relationship. Especially not a relationship with him. This was happening too soon. She was just an emotional wreck that had had the chance of grounding on a warm, sunny island, but it didn’t change the fact that she still needed fixing. Lots and lots of fixing. What if when she got better, he changed his mind? What if she changed her mind? What if they had both misread the clues, or they found out they simply weren’t made for each other? This was too important to leave any room to doubt.

  


And when, after a long minute of silence, no answer came, John’s eyes fluttered open and the realization of what he’d just said hit him hard in the guts. With a shriek, he quickly disentangled himself from Rose and the sheet, and sprung to his feet, a hand running feverishly in his mass of tousled hair and his eyes blown wide open in terror.

  


“I… I’m so sorry, Rose, I didn’t mean… I didn’t,” he stuttered, suddenly very awake and very self-conscious. “It just came out, I’m sorry, won’t happen again.”

“John,” she tried to interrupt his ramble as she pushed herself into a sitting position – which painfully reminded her of her aching body.

“No, really, that was terrible of me, after all you’ve been through, I’m really, really sorry. God, I can be so thick. I’m sorry, I don’t even know how that happened.”

“Shut up,” Rose almost shouted to cover the long streak of words pouring out of his mouth. “You’re sorry, I get it. It’s alright, yeah? Please, just… Come back here?”

  


John bit his lip and paced for a moment more at the foot of the bed, quite unable to believe his feelings had betrayed him. It had just felt so natural for him to wake up with her in his arms, like they’d already been doing this for a long time. In his deep slumber, reality and wishful thinking had been a little mixed up and there was no way he could ever take back that involuntary confession. Because now he couldn’t hide it anymore. He knew he liked her – and he refused to think about any other word to describe the warmth that bubbled in his heart, the wonder that glowed in his eyes as he looked at her, and the desire to protect her that raged in his stomach. And he’d probably ruined everything.

  


Rose cleared her throat with a look that left him no choice and John crawled back on the bed with a sigh, careful not to sit too close to her and avoid any unwanted physical contact. To no avail. Rose shuffled with as much grace as her body would allow her to and got so close John had to instinctively wrap an arm around her shoulders. She threaded her fingers with his and took a deep breath. She just felt like it was the moment to tell him her story. That it could be the start of something new.

  


“Jimmy never called me that you know,” she started slowly, brushing her thumb against his knuckles. “Not even when we got together. He was nice, bought me a few gifts, everything was fine. But he never said that kind of things to me. I guess that should have been my first clue. I was too naive, but I really wanted this to work... And I thought it did at first. I was just happy with whatever he was willing to give. We moved in together when I was eighteen and well, that’s when everything went to Hell.”

  


She made a short pause, still long enough for John to look at her face and notice the silent tears rolling down her cheeks. It tore his heart apart to see her like this when it was supposed to be all over. He wished he knew how to comfort her, make her feel better, heal her wounds. It killed him to see the pain written all over those beautiful features that should only hurt because she’d smile and laugh too much.

  


“Rose, you don’t have to,” he whispered against her temple, nose brushing against a blond lock.

“I do,” she answered all while leaning into his touch. “I need to. So… We got our flat and it was perfect. You know how when you’re young you just can’t wait to leave your parents, live on your own and all that stupid shit? Well, there’s not a day when I don’t think about the moment I left my mum and not a minute when I don’t regret doing it. If I had known what that was going to be like… It started with a few tugs on my hair when he was angry. Then the slaps. It was rare, but it happened. It got worse when he started drinking, two years ago. He got more violent. Punches, kicks, that kind of things. And… The sexual abuses.”

“Why didn’t you go to the police?” he asked softly, moving behind her to hug her into a comfortable embrace.

“He threatened my mum. And he’s got a brother who’s even worse than him. I couldn’t take the risk, I know what he’s capable of. If it weren’t for my mum I’d have left a long time ago. But he’s like… Filth I just can’t scrub off my skin. I’m chained to him. Wherever I go, whatever I do, it’s always with his shadow over my back.”

“Not anymore, Rose,” John breathed out, cradling his chin on her shoulder. “I promise he won’t cause you any more troubles.”

“What… What did you do with him?”

“Not enough to repay everything he’s done to you, but at least he won’t see the light of day for a few years.”

“But how?” Rose asked in a whisper, turning around to face him.

“I have many talents,” a deep voice said from the door neither of them had noticed had opened.

  


Rose’s head turned towards the tall and muscular man while John was silently grateful his friend didn’t seem in the mood to make any of his usual filthy jokes or cheeky comments – which was too rare an occurrence not to make a mental note to thank him later. Jack simply approached them with a bunch of papers in his hand and handed them to Rose with a reassuring smile.

  


“One of this talent is to put wankers behind bars,” he explained, nodding towards the papers Rose was quickly sifting through. “I’m sorry if this is a bad time, but could you sign these for me, Rose? It’s just a formality, you don’t have to read it.”

“What is it?” she still asked as she took the pen Jack was offering.

“Paperwork that will keep you and your mother safe, that’s all. Your autograph at the bottom of each of these pages and you’ll never hear his name again. Is that okay with you?”

“Is that even a real question?” Rose whispered.

  


She didn’t waste a single second more before she put her signature on every page where Jack pointed at, thrilled to know that every brush of the pen on these papers got her closer to a freedom she thought had been denied to her a long time ago. A shaky breath escaped her when she lifted the tip of the pen from the very last sheet and Jack gave her a warm smile, folding the pages and putting them away inside his coat.

  


“All done, dear lady,” he said with a small bow of the head. “Consider him gone from your life.”

“How could I ever thank you enough?” Rose managed to say despite the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

“You don’t have to. Thank John, I couldn’t have done anything without him. Well, I’ll be off then. Get well soon, Rose. Doc, can I see you for a moment?”

  


Rose felt John slip away from behind her back and his lips plant a soft kiss on her forehead before he was gone. It was hard to believe that she could finally forget about Jimmy. Hard to believe she’d never see him again. Hard to believe she was safe. But deep down, she knew it was true, and never before had she felt such pure joy and relief she was sure she could have floated around the room in a bubble of sweet ecstasy. All thanks to John. I there was any doubt left that this man was an angel sent to Earth to protect her, that was the last proof needed.

  


John reappeared a moment later with a glass of water in one hand and a tiny packet in the other. She’d never seen him so embarrassed and uneasy before, and she didn’t miss the way his eyes nervously went from the tip of his feet to anything around the room but her. He cleared his throat as he sat on the bed and handed her the glass. He showed her the packet in the crook of his palm and she immediately understood why he was feeling this. This mustn’t be easy for him.

  


“We… I don’t know if you need this,” he shrugged, tugging forcefully on his ear. “You know, just in case. I mean, maybe you don’t. You don’t have to take it.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you John,” she gave him a reassuring smile and a pat on his arm. “But with that kind of boyfriend, you quickly learn contraception is not an option.”

“I suppose, yes. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make this awkward.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, John. If anything, I should be the one to apologize for everything you’ve been trough because of me.”

  


John offered a small smile and climbed back on the bed after he carefully placed the full glass on the bedside table. He sat cross-legged in front of her, their knees bumping together as he reached for her hands – mindful of the one still trapped inside the splint.

  


“Remind me, how many times do I need to tell you that I’m doing this because I care about you?” he said with a rise of his eyebrows and a soft glimmer in the depths of his pupils. “Rose, you… When I say you’re special to me, I mean it. I really mean it.”

“You’re special to me too,” Rose whispered, suddenly unable to look him in the eyes. “And not just because you saved me. You… It’s just you. But I’m scared. I’m scared I’m using you and I don’t even know it. I’m scared because you haven’t seen all of me. I’m scared I’ll disappoint you.”

  


John brushed a finger under chin to tilt her head upwards and cupped her cheeks in his soft palms. She was desperately begging for reassurance and he’d give it – even if he needed to be reassured himself.

  


“I’m scared of all those things too,” he acknowledged with a sheepish shrug. “But whatever this is, we’ll take it slow, okay? Let’s just… Spend some time together. Until you’re better. You can stay here for as long as you want. No pressure, we’ll just do whatever feels natural, yes?”

“Yeah, sounds good to me,” she nodded slowly, grateful for this perfectly safe and sensible suggestion. “Could definitely use some recovery time anyway.”

“And that starts with calming the storm that’s raging in there,” he smiled, poking her stomach with a light pressure of his finger. “I’ll go make breakfast and you don’t leave that bed. Doctor’s order. I’ll install the television in here right after so you’re not bored out of your mind.”

“Okay, _Doctor_ ,” she answered, surprised to hear the small laugh carried by her voice.

 

* * *

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, i managed to write this rather long chapter during one sleepless night!
> 
> I'm sorry if things in this chapter seem to go too fast for you, but with all my motivation gone into my research paper and the mountain of stuff I still have to do, I don't feel like spending too much time on this.
> 
> Only one chapter left, I think, it will be about some of the relationship's later developments and serve as a small conclusion to all this!
> 
> Thank you to all of you who left kudos and comments, it's greatly appreciated!
> 
> Enjoy your reading, I hope you'll like it!

* * *

 

Rose eyed the three large boxes with a hand on her hip, the all-too familiar feeling of discouragement curling the corner of her mouth downwards. She bent with a groan and picked up the first one, the weight of it and the small pain radiating from the base of her thumb momentarily setting her off balance. When she was sure she had a good grip on it, she made her way to the small corner of the shop where brand new shelves awaited to be furnished with the small mountain of books the owner had acquired.

 

She’d been working in that small bookshop near the university for two weeks, and despite the repetitiveness of the tasks she was assigned and the weird working hours, she loved it. The owner was a nice lady in her fifties, that smelled a bit of cold tobacco that she tried to cover with a cheap perfume that more often than not managed to bring tears to Rose’s eyes when she accidentally inhaled it too deeply. But she was sweet and Rose loved talking with her. It’d been more than two months since that horrible night, and although John had been a real sweetheart with her, it hadn’t taken long before she’d felt the irrepressible need to just do something. She’d been living between his flat – she had crashed on his couch so many times she would be unable to count them – and her own, and the routine that had settled had weighed on her more than she would have expected. It just wasn’t in her nature to sit back and watch time tick away slowly without doing anything useful. She’d been granted a new start in life and she’d be damned if she’d let the occasion pass her by.

 

So as soon as she’d managed to convince John that she was feeling much better - and that she’d probably end up wreaking havoc in his flat if she remained cloistered in there for a single day more, he’d suggested applying for this position. A small, easy job, nothing fancy. Four hours a day, five days a week, just to help the owner with the daily chores of realigning books on the shelves and answering the phone. Rather thrilling activities, compared to the endless sessions of binge-watching stupid programmes on the television. At least, she wasn’t alone when John was working, and she could meet new people, have real conversations, enjoy the contact and the presence of other human beings. Just enjoy life. And the best thing was that she still had enough time to study. She hadn’t given up on her desire to get that qualification and was still working hard with John’s help to make that little dream of hers come true. She still wanted to definitively move out of her flat because she simply couldn’t live there any longer. Everywhere she looked, she always was reminded of who used to live there with her, of everything that had happened and that she wished never did. It was a part of her life she wanted gone, the only string that still bound her to the past she needed to cut. And that little job was the first step towards the freedom she longed for.

 

That’s why she started to hum merrily as she opened the box filled to the rim with brand new books and picked some of them out carefully to put them on a nice display on the shelves. She had almost reached the bottom of the box when she heard a warm voice she’d have recognized among a million others.

 

“You might want to align them on the edge of the shelf,” John said with a smile in his words. “Makes it easier to catch them.”

 

Rose turned on her feet to face him, quite unable to hide the grin that was quickly spreading over her face.

 

“If you came him to criticize my work, you can go,” she chastised with a small slap on his shoulder.

“Sorry,” he shrugged sheepishly before bending to greet her with a kiss on the cheek. “I didn’t come for this. I just wanted to ask you something.”

“Which is?”

“There’s this, hum, party tomorrow, at the university,” he explained, tugging on his ear. “For the benefactors. And I have to go even though I don’t really want to, but… I just wanted to know if you’d come with me?”

“Thought you could use me as a distraction, right?” Rose asked as she raised an eyebrow.

“No, of course not, I’d never use you,” he quickly answered, waiving his hands around nervously. “I just thought, you know, we haven’t really gone out together, and this might be a good opportunity. If you like, no pressure.”

“Are you asking me on a _date_?””

“Yes. Hum... No? I don’t know, maybe?” he said with a quick ruffle of his tousled hair and a grimace. “Depends on what you want, I guess. But as I said, you don’t have to come, it was just a...”

“Yes,” she cut with a tongue-touched grin before going back to her books.

“Yes, as in you’re coming, or…?”

“See you tomorrow, Mr Smith,” she waved behind her back just so she could hide the thousand-watt smile that had split her face in two.

“Yes, okay,” he said with a tinge of relief laced through his voice – and was that a laugh Rose heard? “I’ll pick you up at seven. Well, have a nice day, Miss Tyler.”

 

John tried to act as disinterested as she was, but it appeared to be too hard a feat to pretend he wasn’t affected by her decision. He quickly bent to kiss her shoulder and a whisper came out of his mouth before he could stop it.

 

“Can’t wait to see you in a dress.”

 

Rose pretended to huff, but when she turned around, he was already gone. Her whole body shivered with anticipation and a thrill ran down her spine. She was going on a date. With John. And she couldn’t describe the tremendous joy that lifted her spirits and the energy that made her every muscle buzz with excitement. He was right, it would be the first they actually went out together. They’d been tiptoeing on the thin line between friendship and something more meaningful, never to fall over in any of them. They’d just been… Them. Rose had eventually realized that she couldn’t deny her feelings anymore. With every one of his touches, of his kind words, of the smallest attentions he offered with a warm smile, her doubts had crumbled down into a little heap of dust. The fear had been slowly replaced by a strong feeling of elation within a little more than a month, and the more she learned about him, the more powerful it grew. When she was once scared to discover more of him and his personality, she now longed to find out about everything he was, convinced he was hiding more wonders than he let show.

 

She didn’t know how he felt about her now, though. He never missed a chance to hug her, kiss her cheek or cuddle with her on the couch, but he also never made any move forward. She thought he was just being friendly., and she had not a single clue if any of those little gestures meant anything more than that. But now, he was asking her on a date. So, maybe here was hope after all. And Rose found herself unable to stop smiling for the rest of the day.

* * *

 

 

John tugged on the bow tie that for unknown reasons had grown impossibly tighter around his neck since he’d left his flat. Well, he knew it hadn’t, really, but it was the only thing he could think of to cover the anxiety that had sprouted earlier in his stomach and made his throat tie into knots. That was it. A real first date with Rose Tyler. He let a deep sigh escape and patted one of his pockets to make sure he hadn’t forgotten the small present he wanted to give her, before he knocked on her door. No need to beat around the bush, he was already ten minutes late – always off to a good start, John Smith. The smile of apology he had plastered on his face vanished when the door opened and all air was knocked out of his lungs. He could only stare at her, a soft voice at the back of his mind whispering that he probably looked like an idiot with his mouth gaping so wide he might have swallowed a fly and his arms dangling on his sides. But he was just a simple man, and what he was seeing was the very definition of divine beauty.

 

She was wearing a long, strapless black dress, a little puffy at the bottom where black lace flowers were sewn, and the tight bodice hugged all her supple forms in the right places. She had gathered her long blond hair into a loose bun, some strands falling with grace to frame a face that would put Aphrodite to shame. She was beautiful, and classy, and, oh yes, so beautiful.

 

“Is it too much?” she asked him with a sheepish nibble on her lower lip. “You said there would be rich guys, yes? I thought this would look posh enough. But I can totally change into something else.”

“No, no, Rose, you look...” he started, trying to coordinate the movements of his mouth that didn’t seem to answer his brain any longer. “You look stunning. Absolutely stunning.”

“Thanks,” she whispered with a light blush creeping up her cheeks. “You’re not so bad yourself. So, hum, should we go? I think there’s this handsome bloke in a suit who’s a bit late for his party.”

“Come on then, Rose Tyler,” he exclaimed as he extended his hand to wrap his fingers around hers and lead her down the flight of stairs. “The party awaits us. Thank the heavens I took my car.”

 

Rose gasped when she saw the luxurious sedan parked in front of the building and he chuckled at the reaction she had as he opened the door for her.

 

“Madame,” he said with an a French accent that sounded much too ridiculous to be serious, holding out a hand to help her hop into the car – not even forgetting about the little courtesy bow. “I do apologize for this mediocre vehicle, but my attendant forgot to refuel my limo.”

“That’s not really you car, is it?” she asked as he sat in the driver’s seat and put his seatbelt on.

“Nope,” he giggled. “Just one of the few perks than comes with being the head of the science department. I have to give it back tomorrow. But just for tonight, let’s pretend it’s mine, okay?”

“Fine with me,” she gave him a broad smile. “The only car I’ve ever known was an old banger that spat so much toxic fumes it’s a wonder this city never got evacuated. And it usually broke down when the ride took longer than half an hour.”

“Not happening with that beauty,” he said with a light stroke on the wheel. “So, ready to go?”

“Whenever you are, Doctor Smith.”

 

The engine roared to life and off on the road they were. It was quiet ride at first. Rose was just happy to watch him as he drove, and it was a sight that was rather enticing. The way his long fingers played with the gear shaft, the lean muscles of his thigh that appeared underneath the black pants whenever we pressed the pedal with his foot, his eyes quickly going from one mirror to another. How he caressed her leg softly when he stopped at a red light and how he smiled at her each time he noticed her peeking. He looked absolutely gorgeous.

 

It was only fifteen minutes later that she realized he was obviously not headed for the university. The buildings and houses that rolled behind the window soon gave way to a landscape of fields that stretched towards the horizon where the sun was slowly setting. It was a rather unpleasant feeling, because she’d never been too fond of surprises. Surprises never ended well for her.

 

“John, where are we going?” she asked lowly, shifting uneasily on her seat.

“Oh, hum...” he started with an awkward chuckle. “I was hoping you wouldn’t ask that. Can you just wait for five little minutes? We’re almost there, it’s just at the end of this road.”

 

Rose simply nodded and kept her eyes firmly fixed on the road ahead, nervous to find out their destination. She trusted him, of course, but she couldn’t control the small pinch of nervousness in the pit of her stomach. It was just hard to get rid of some of the old habits she had developed to protect herself, which included doubting everything a man said and never take any promises for granted. So it was with a small sigh of relief that she felt the car slow down and turn into a small alley of gravel that lead to a rather impressive stone house. It was all very dark, lost in field a long grass, with only a light shimmer that came from the side of the house she couldn’t see. John eventually stopped the engine and was quick to go around the car to open the door for her, offering a hand she immediately took. His fingers found their way to the small of her back and without adding a single word, he guided her around the house.

 

Rose’s mouth parted in shock at the sight that greeted her. She took a few steps on her own towards a large glass veranda that was lit by dozens of big candles. A table was set in the middle, decorated with a vase of red roses and a few petals scattered around. The whole décor looked marvellous. She pushed the door of the veranda open and was immediately greeted by a wave of warmth and a light flowery scent. It felt nice. More than that. It felt romantic. Had John really planned all of this? A romantic evening with her? That would be more than she had expected. More than she could have hoped for. But if it _was_ happening…

She shivered when she felt his presence behind her back, even more so when he circled her waist and nested his chin atop her shoulder.

 

“I wanted tonight to be different,” he whispered in her ear, drawing light circles with his thumb over the skin on the back of her hand. “I wanted tonight to be about you.”

 

Rose took a deep breath to control the waves of joy and excitement and complete admiration for this man – who’d managed to make her feel special from the very start – storming inside her. All of this simply confirmed what she already knew. She turned around in his arms and stared into his deep chocolate eyes that sparkled with the reflection of the candle lights. The tension and the significance of this moment dawned on the both of them and the air turned thick around their bodies.

 

“John,” Rose breathed out slowly, afraid to break the almost magical bubble that had formed around them. “Can I ask you something?“

“Anything for you, Rose,” he tenderly said, rocking her gently in his arms.

“I’d like… I’d like tonight to be about... U _s._ ”

 

His eyes seemed to be set ablaze by the soft declaration and the corners of his mouth quivered, as if he wanted to smile but was unable to. He reached inside his pocket and took out a small blue velvet box with which he fiddled hesitantly for a moment. Rose’s heartbeat stuttered when he finally opened it to reveal a necklace. A simple necklace with a silver chain and a small precious stone at its centre. He reverently pulled it free from its cushioned nest and Rose stopped breathing when he reached around her neck to attach it, his warm breath tickling her ear and his soft fingers brushing on purpose against her nape.

 

“This,” he said, voice barely managing to conceal his emotions. “Is to remind you of how beautiful and strong you are. Because that’s who you are, Rose Tyler. You amaze me. Of all the stars I’ve ever studied in my life, you shine the brightest. There are no words to describe how I feel about you. Rose, I… If you want an us, then I want it too. Nothing could make me happier.”

“I...” she started, breath so shallow even she had trouble hearing herself. “I’ve made up my mind. I want you, John. Just you.”

 

All her sense heightened to the point she thought it might set her body on fire when he cupped one of her cheeks while his other hand settled on her hip in a feathery touch. There was no smile, no words. Just the intensity of his eyes boring into hers and the sparks of wild energy where their skin met. She held her breath when he began to slowly bend towards her, and she couldn’t help it but met him halfway. They had waited too long for this. When their lips finally met, her heart burst into thousands of pieces, as if a dam had broken and all the emotions she had kept hidden inside were suddenly pouring out. It was liberating. It was beautiful.

John felt a heavy weight disappear from his back. He was kissing Rose Tyler. She wanted him. It wasn’t too soon. He hadn’t made a dreadful mistake. She really wanted him. And she trusted him. That was the most important thing of all, the one thing that made him deliriously happy and swarmed his heart with the exquisite flutters of euphoria.

John felt her fingers crawl up his back and dig into his shoulder blades and he melted into her touch. The sweet movement of her lips against his, the feel of her skin under his fingertips, the delicate smell of her perfume… He’d cherish this memory until the end of his days.

Their mouths parted softly, slowly, as if neither of them really wanted them to. Their hot breaths mingled together as their forehead joined, lips drawn into the same blissful smile. John was fascinated by her smile. It was the very first time he saw just how much more beautiful she was when she looked at him that way, with a twinkle in the depth of her eyes and an expression of pure happiness. It felt incredible to know he was the one responsible for that smile. Whatever doubts remained were gone. That was it. The fresh start they deserved.

 

“Okay?” John asked in a whisper, brushing his lips against the tip of her nose.

“I think I’m going to cry,” she half-laughed, half-sobbed. “But yeah. Okay. You?”

“Hmm,” he hummed with a broad smile. “Now that I can kiss my precious girl whenever I feel like it, I feel like I’m in heaven, so I guess okay fits.”

“That’s good then.”

“Yep. All good.”

 

They stared at each other for a moment until the cocktail of relief and joy flowing in their veins made them fall into a fit of giggles and Rose eventually buried her face into the crook of his neck while he drew her into a tight hug. Everything had changed and yet it felt the same. Just them, only better. Instead of being two, they were now one, taking a leap of faith into a new life. And it was the most amazing thing they'd ever experienced because they knew they’d always be there for one another, promise that was sealed with a light brush of their lips and eyes shining with tears.

 

* * *

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, the last chapter, the end of this story!
> 
> To be honest, this chapter was basically an excuse to write some fluffy smut, please don't be mad at me!  
> It does have a small conclusion, though!
> 
> I hope you'll like it!  
> Many, many thanks to all of you; for all the kudos and the comments; for all the support! I really appreciate it!

* * *

 

 

"How is it going, sweetheart?" John asked as he put down two mugs of steaming coffee on the table and bent to press a kiss on the top of her head.

"Great," she muttered under her breath, tapping the end of her pencil against the desperately blank page. "Just great."

"Do you need any help?" he kindly offered. "I won't do it for you, but I could just put you on the right path."

"I don't think that's wise," she whined with a slow shake of the head. "I mean, you won't be here next week, I really should try to figure this out by myself."

"You won't figure out much if you don't know the formulas," he reasoned, leaning over her shoulder to look at the book spread open on the table. "Here, just let me..."

  


Rose shivered as John pressed his chest a bit more heavily against her back and gently pried her fingers open to take the pencil. He started to write down a few lines of numbers and letters on the paper all while explaining what they meant and how to put them into practice, but she couldn't concentrate. Not when all she felt was the heat from his body that formed a comfortable cocoon around her, his delicate cologne filling her nostrils and the muscles of his arm flexing against hers. And that voice, its depth and the suave melody it carried right into her ear. She heard the words but she couldn't understand them despite her best efforts – a bit like lyrics to a song she would listen to without thinking about the message behind them. That voice struck chords deep inside her that probably shouldn't be played with in that particular moment, but she couldn't help it. The more time passed, the more she longed for his body.

He had always refused to make a move in that particular direction ever since she'd told him she wasn't ready yet, but after four months the tension was starting to weigh on them both. She couldn't be more grateful for his utter patience and care, and at first she'd just been happy to tread the slow path they'd taken – she had to admit that waking up to a pair loving arms embracing her and soft kisses was by far the best thing she had ever experienced. There had been a few times when things had almost taken that small jump forward, but the line had never been crossed. She knew John wanted it. She also knew he cared too much to make the first move. And she also knew that _she_ wanted it. She'd been scared at first – scared that she might be too dirty for him, scared that she was too scarred to enjoy something like that ever again, scared by the reaction her body might have. But there had been a point when those fears had been overwhelmingly counterbalanced by stirs of desire and the craving to just be as close as him as possible. And, quite unfortunately, it more often than not happened in very inappropriate situations.

  


"Rose?" he eventually said to draw her attention. looking at her above his glasses.

"Sorry, what?" she asked with a sheepish shrug.

"Method A or B?"

"Um, A?" she guessed, without much hope that it would be the expected answer.

  


When he ran his hand over his mouth to conceal an annoyed sigh, she understood that it definitely wasn't the right one.

  


  


"Have you even been paying the slightest attention to what I was saying?" he enquired with a raised eyebrow.

"I tried," she answered – at least he couldn't blame her for being dishonest. "You just make it hard to focus, quite frankly. Maths aren't really on my mind when you're being all... You know, _close_."

"What do you..."

  


John stopped before he could end his question when he noticed how she was avoiding his eyes and nervously chewing her lower lip. Then it dawned on him. The furious blush that spread on his cheeks and ran down his neck matched hers and while his mind was screaming at him to move away from her, his body remained frozen in place. He was suddenly all too aware of her warmth that emanated from her body, of the smell of her shampoo, of the soft caress of her breath against his face. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat, unable to decide what to do with his mouth, to think of something to say. So he just muttered the word that always came naturally to him.

  


"Sorry."

"Oh, no, don't be," Rose said softly, threading his fingers that were holding the pencil with her own. "It's fine. Nothing to be sorry for."

"Right, okay," he chuckled uneasily with a particularly awkward nod. "So, um, method B, then."

  


Rose took a deep breath and did her best to concentrate her attention on the few lines he was scribbling down, but when after a few seconds her eyes were drawn to his slender fingers and the lines turned blurry, she realized it would be pointless. No way she could learn mathematical formulas with an imagination going rampant against her will and a heart beating at a thousand miles per minute. So she did what only felt right. She stopped the hand that was doodling shapes, brushing her fingertips against his knuckles. She felt the slight tremors that tensed the back of his hand and heard his breath hitch in his throat, but apart from that, he remained perfectly still. A moment of silence that was much too long to be comfortable followed, the air crackling with tension none of them seemed ready to assuage. Rose began to think she'd been terribly forward and awfully mistaken, and that he didn't want any of that at all. But then his thumb managed to curl around her hers and her skin warmed when his nose brushed her cheek and a hot, shaky breath escaped his mouth.

  


"John," she whispered softly, turning her head to look into his eyes. "Would it be okay?"

"Only if that's what you want, love," he answered as his free hand came to rest on her arm, squeezing gently. "I know I do. Just... Please don't make this about me. I need you to want it too."

"Oh, I do. I really do, John. I trust you. I want you. All of you."

  


John released a shaky breath and cupped her cheek with a longing in his touch and a deep desire in his eyes. He wasn't going to deny he wanted this. He wanted her. So he gently kissed her lips and drew her body closer to his, fingers creeping up her back while hers found their way to the nape of his neck. She happily leaned into him, deepened the kiss and trailed her tongue against the seam of her lips which he immediately opened to grant her access. Passion quickly took over and soon their hands groped at each other, their breaths mingled feverishly together and their mutual desire was set ablaze in their loins. John moaned into her mouth all while helping her to her feet so he could wrap his arms tighter around her waist.

  


"John," she whispered against his lips, pushing her hips forward to meet his. "Please."

  


He gave a small possessive growl and picked her up in his arms, teeth scratching against a soft spot under her ear as he strode towards the bedroom with an impatience and an eagerness in his gait. That was it. The moment he'd been hoping for, the moment he'd finally show his Rose how much he loved her in the most primal of ways, the moment he'd show her just how much he'd been longing to worship her body and her soul in a single breath of mutual bliss.

John carefully put her down on the bed and crawled over her body, their eyes burning with a shared passion never looking away from each other. Rose had never seen such a both fiery and soft look in a man's eyes, especially not in Jimmy's, and that look alone was enough to set the last coals of desire ablaze in her lower abdomen. He kissed her again, deeper, more passionately, his tongue battling with hers in a playful bout, and Rose shivered when his hand slipped under her tee-shirt to settle just above her hip. He trailed his other fingers up her belly, and Rose gasped in his mouth when they gently cupped a breast through all the layers of clothing. It wasn't a particularly bold move, but it was enough to awaken feelings that were completely foreign to her. It was so gentle, so careful, so loving. The last thing that would have convinced her that John would never hurt her, if she wasn't already.

  


"Rose," he softly breathed against her mouth. "I want to see you. I want to touch you. Is that alright?"

"Yeah," she whispered back as his lips kissed her chin.

"Promise you'll tell me if I'm doing anything wrong."

"Promise."

  


John planted an open-mouth kiss on her jaw, his hands slithering down her sides to grab the hem of her tee-shirt. Rose quickly got the hint and pushed herself up in a sitting position before he pulled the garment up and freed her body from its clinging embrace. He gently drew her into a hug and buried his face into the crook of her neck, inhaling the intoxicating fragrance of her fruity perfume. Then, slowly, his fingers reached for the tiny hooks of her bra that came loose around her frame. Rose swallowed a moan as he trailed his lips down to her clavicle all while slipping the straps off from her shoulders, accompanying their descent on her arms with a slow path of kisses down her sternum. He guided her back down on the bed when she was divested of the garment, and Rose realized just how exposed she was, how _naked_ she felt with her chest bared to him in the dim light of his bedroom. A wild blush spread on her cheeks and she must have unconsciously revealed how she felt because John was quick to grab one of her hand that was about to cover her breasts and squeeze it tightly.

  


"You're beautiful, Rose," he whispered against her skin, lifting his eyes to meet her shy gaze. "Don't ever hide yourself away from me."

  


Rose's body trembled when his fingers caressed her breast and a moan echoed down her throat when his thumb brushed against her nipple. It was crazy how so soft a touch could send so much jolts of pleasure through her limbs, and her vision turned almost white when his tongue darted to roll around the hardening bud that was left unattended. She groaned his name, fingers tangling in his wild mane to try and remain grounded, torn between the feeling of it being too much and not enough at the same time. She could already feel the heat pooling in her belly, growing stronger with each lap of his soft tongue, each brush of his knuckles, each pinch of his dexterous and gentle fingers on her nipples. It grew even worse when his teeth carefully nipped the underside of her breast while his hands glided down her chest, down her abdomen, and settled at the hem of her jeans. The bottom was popped open, the fly pulled down, and it was both too fast and too slow. He looked at her, _stared_ at her, his eyes lit by a flame of desire that concealed his need for consent.

When she nodded slowly with a nibble on her lip, he gave her a reassuring smile and slid the garment down her legs, leaving kisses in the wake of every inch of skin that was revealed to his hungry mouth. When it came loose at her feet, he discarded it on the side and snaked back up her legs only to settled his chin just above the line of her knickers, thumbs drawing soft circles on the tender skin of her hipbones. Rose understood where he wanted to go with this, and despite the desperate arousal he'd awakened in her, she wasn't sure she was ready for this. It would be the first time, and although she craved to discover how it would feel like, it also terrified her. What if John wouldn't find it pleasant? What if she wouldn't like it? What if this would ruin everything?

  


  


"John," Rose eventually let out in a shaky breath, her hips wiggling ever so slightly. "No one's ever... I don't know... You don't have to..."

"Allow me?" he asked almost reverently. "You can tell me to stop if you don't like it."

"Yeah," she agreed in a whisper, trying to relax her body. "Okay."

  


Rose shivered deep down to her bones as his fingers slipped under the elastic of her knickers and removed them with a swift moment. She took a few deep breaths to try and control the spasms that shook her legs, his lips sowing small wet kisses up her calf and her thigh until they came to a stop to nibble at the juncture between her leg and her hip. It was awfully arousing to see his face so close to her femininity and the way his nostrils flared let her know that he was inhaling her scent – and if the sound of the groan that reached her ears and resonated against her skin were any indications, he enjoyed it. A strangled gasp escaped her lips when one of his fingers gently ran through her wet folds, his other hand fondling her thigh in soft, appeasing motions.

John could feel that she was still a bit tensed, and he murmured a few comforting words until she released a long breath and her hips settled deeper into the mattress. He smiled against her thigh and gathered some moisture on the tip of his thumb before rubbing it in light, tiny circles against her clit, which rewarded him with a low moan and a tug on his hair. It rather emboldened him and soon her had to replace his finger with his mouth. Her back arched from the bed when he ran his tongue up her slick folds and twirled it around her clit, his hands splayed on her upper thigh in a half-hearted attempt to keep her still. He loved it so much. The taste of her, exploding on his taste buds, the smell of her arousal, the way she tugged on his hair and the way she whispered his name. No way his composure could last. He sighed in pleasure as he licked and kissed and nipped, and his own hips jerked involuntarily when her fingers clenched around spikes of his wild mane – which reminded him just how hard he already was against the seam of his trousers.

Rose was losing herself into all those sensations and she felt the coil of arousal grow tighter, low in her abdomen. John was playing her like a fragile instrument and she loved this tune. It was pleasure like she had never experienced before. Slow and passionate, gentle and demanding, burning hot and sweet, contrasts that derailed her every train of thoughts and coaxed sounds from her mouth she wasn't even aware could sound so lustful. It felt like she was discovering the true meaning of love-making. And she was finding out that she loved it. A particularly loud moan was ripped out from her lungs when she felt his mouth close around her clit and single digit dive into her, curling right into the spot that made her heartbeat speed up and her teeth bite into her lip. He started to pump his finger in and out, slowly, deeply, and his tongue pressed more insistently against the little bud of nerves. He was overwhelming her with too many feelings, too many sensations, and all it took for her arousal to snap was a deft flick from his tongue and a twist of his talented finger. She came quietly, fingers tightly clenched around the sheet and toes curling into nothing, as John brought her down from her high with tender nips and kisses on the inside of her trembling thighs.

When her body relaxed again and she reached out for his hand, John crawled up her body after divesting himself of his shirt and laid on her side, rolling an arm around her waist.

  


"You okay sweetheart?" he whispered softly, nuzzling her cheek with the tip of his nose.

"Yeah," she breathed out. "That was perfect. Thank you, John. Do you, um, want me to..."

"Oh, it doesn't work like that, love," he quickly interrupted with a soft kiss pressed on her lips. "Not with me. Whatever you want, whatever you need, your choice. I'm not going to pressure you into something you're not comfortable with."

"I just... I want you, John."

"Good," he smiled tenderly before his teeth tickled her earlobe. "Because I want you too, Rose Tyler."

"Then you've got far too many clothes on, Mister Smith," she said with a sensual voice, trailing a finger down his naked torso and hooking it in a belt loop.

"I suppose I should do something about it, yes," he replied with a gasp, a shiver coursing down his spine when her thumb brushed against the already prominent bulge in his trousers.

  


John quickly scrambled to his feet and wasted no time shedding his trousers and boxers, almost whining in relief when his cock – that had been quite painfully constricted in his clothes from the moment he'd been able to indulge his fantasy – was finally set free. He did his best not to blush under Rose's passionate and appreciative stare and rummaged through the drawer of his bedside table to fetch a condom – he knew it wasn't a strict necessity, but he thought it best to assure that Rose wouldn't feel too uncomfortable in the aftermath. Rose understood his attention and offered a grateful smile as he joined her on the bed, settling above her body on his elbows. She cupped his face, thumbs delicately brushing under his eyes, and guided him to her mouth to fully press her lips against his. It didn't take long for the kiss to grow heated, tongues meeting in a voluptuous ballet, teeth almost clashing against each other and nibbling down on lips each time they were given the chance.

John's fingers cupped her breast and he had to break the kiss with a low growl when her hands groped his buttocks and pulled him nearer, his cock inconveniently trapped against her hip throbbing with want.

  


"Need you," he breathed out with difficulty, fighting the desire to rut shamelessly against her hipbone.

"You have me," she answered in a laboured breath, the sweet red hue of her cheeks leaving no doubt that her arousal matched his. "Please, John."

  


John lifted his hips and slipped a hand on the base of her skull, his eyes never leaving hers as he nudged at her entrance. He didn't miss the way her eyebrows almost knitted into a frown of worry and he immediately pressed his forehead against hers, dropping soft kisses on the tip of her nose.

  


"I'll be gentle," he promised in a whisper as he twined his fingers with hers to provide an anchor. "If it hurts to much, tell me. I don't want to hurt you."

  


John held his breath as he slowly, very slowly, slid into her heat until he was fully sheathed. Rose moaned loudly in relief, both at the immensely pleasurable way she was finally making one with John and at the realization that it hurt much less that expected. The stretch was just a little uncomfortable at first, but it couldn't outshine the love that was bubbling in her chest, the heat of his skin that enveloped her body and the desire that shone deep in his hooded eyes as he looked at her. She released a sigh and rolled her hips a little to let him know she was ready, and he began a slow back and forth pace that made her realize no one had really made love to her before. The way he peppered her face with butterfly kisses, the way his hand caressed her body with feathery touches, the way he pressed his lips against her neck when he muffled his moans in the crook of her shoulder. It was all of those things that made it perfect, and made her arousal build up even faster. She moaned, and groaned, and squeezed her muscles around his hardness as his pace picked up, his brow furrowed and droplets of sweat rolling down his temple. She crossed her ankles behind his lower back and gave a small yelp when the slight change of position stimulated new spots she wasn't even aware existed and almost made her toppled over the edge. John seemed to greatly appreciate it as well, the movements of his hips turning erratic and the obscene sounds coming out of his mouth growing louder.

  


"God, Rose," he grunted into the skin of her neck, a hand finding its way down to rub against her clit. "You feel so good. So tight. I'm close, God I'm so close."

  


Those words combined with the rubbing against her bud in tight little circles were the last push Rose needed. She sobbed his name repeatedly as her second orgasm hit her hard, her inner muscles clenching around his cock in powerful spasms, and he followed seconds later, burying his face against her clavicle with a cry, his hips going still and his cock twitching wildly inside her. Utterly spent, he eventually collapsed on top her and she welcomed his comfortable weight into her arms. Her fingers played with wet strands of his hair as he took a moment to catch his breath, his chest heaving against hers, and Rose made the most of the situation to wipe a tear that threatened to fall without him seeing. It had been so sweet, so beautiful, so tender. Just like she had always imagined her first time would have happened. And it was all John. That beautiful, perfect man.

  


"I love you, Rose," he mumbled in his haze, lips brushing against the soft skin of her sternum.

  


Rose felt her heart melt in her chest and she pressed a kiss on the top of his head, unable to stop the tears from falling any longer.

  


"I love you too," she whispered in a voice wavering with emotion. "I love you too."

  


* * *

 

  


"Come on, love, we're gonna be late," John whined loudly.

"Just one minute," she called out from inside the bathroom.

"Women," he muttered under his breath, swinging the suitcase he was holding around.

  


It didn't take long, but when she finally emerged from the room, he gaped at her and had to blink several times to make sure it was really her.

  


"So?" she asked with a nibble on her lower lip.

"So, um, yeah," he stuttered as he took in her body that was tightly hugged by a knee-length skirt and a matching blazer. "You're supposed to be my assistant, not my sexy secretary. Very, very sexy secretary."

"Oh, come on," she chastised with a playful slap on his shoulder, quite unable to prevent the blush that rose on her cheeks. "This is just formal wear, I can't possibly introduce myself wearing old jeans and a worn tee-shirt."

"Fair point," he smiled at her, rolling an arm around her waist. "Although you do look sexy. More than that, you look even more beautiful than usual."

"Flatterer. Now come on, Doctor Smith, I really don't want to be late on my first day."

"Lead on, I'll follow, Miss Tyler."

"Just so you can stare, I get it."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

 

* * *

 


End file.
